


When We're Older

by GuineapigQueen



Category: South Park
Genre: Adoption, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Mpreg, Teenage pregancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23591575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: When they're older they'll start again. They'll get married, find a house, do it all right. Have children when the time is right and build the loving, nurturing home they both have always wanted.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 13
Kudos: 73





	1. His Life is Over

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This was a request that got out out of hand and grew into this much longer piece. It's my take on Craig and Tweek deciding to give their baby up for adoption. I hope it rings true to you, but leaves you with some hope as well.

The stars are bright tonight, it's unusual. It's like the elements conspired so that all the smoke, light pollution and even the clouds have disappeared so that they can have this moment. 

Sort of in the same way life conspired to put them here. Chemicals made them fall in love, biology did what it always does. A sperm met an egg, their lives changed forever. 

While Tweek isn't always thankful for every element that came together to create this situation they're in now, he's thankful that they get to have this moment. 

It's something Tweek thinks he'd like to do with Craig. When they're older, and they have their family. To watch the sky, Craig has so meticulously showed Tweek his passion and Tweek wants them to share it with their own kid one day. Not this kid though. The kid may be in Tweeks belly, but it's not theirs. Not really. 

Tweek wishes in another life that they could be, but they're not old enough. They have nothing to offer this baby but life. So Tweek will carry them, and he will bring them into the world but it won't be theirs. They'll give them to someone who will love them just as much but will be able to provide the wonderful life with it.

Life in the concrete jungle is hard. Neither Tweek nor Craig wants the baby to have the kind of childhood they did. Poverty, chaos and dysfunction. To have this baby and to keep this baby is to trap themselves in the very cycle they so very much want to escape. 

When they're older they'll start again. They'll get married, find a house, do it all right. Have children when the time is right and build the loving, nurturing home they both have always wanted. 

The moments they'll get with this baby are limited. They get to see ultrasounds, feel kicks and maybe hold them once after they're born. Tweek hasn't decided if he'll allow himself that last one, it might be too hard. But they know there is a countdown, so they're trying to do things while Tweek is still pregnant. It's the next best thing to actually showing the kid their lives. Tweek knows that the kid is in utero and won't remember any of this but he still feels like it matters. It gives something to him and Craig at least. 

"I'm so glad the sky is clear," Craig says quietly. His arms wrapped around Tweek, holding him close with both Craig and Tweeks hands resting on the swell of Tweeks belly. Both their hands interlock, Tweek can feel the baby moving underneath them.

"Even if they can't see it, they're  _ -nghh- _ listening to us," Tweek replies. 

"I can feel" Craig hums. 

Tweek lets the silence fall between them. They know each other so well now that the silence is comfortable, it's relaxing to just be. Tweek doesn't like to admit it out loud too often but sometimes it's just nice to be held. To know Craig's heart is beating along with his own. Tweek knows that the third heartbeat won't be with them for much longer, so he wants them all close while they still can be. 

The baby is moving around, they're due to be born in two weeks and any time they move Tweek feels it. He tries to savor every little kick, roll and wriggle. Craig seems to be doing the same, always touching Tweeks stomach. Craig moves their interlocked hands a little further up the curve of Tweeks stomach to where the kicks are stronger. Tweek knows that the baby likes when they talk. It definitely knows their voices, Tweek worries how they will cope when they're out and with parents whose voices don't sound like them. 

Just because Tweek and Craig don't have any money doesn't mean they don't love the baby. They do,  _ so  _ much and it's the love that lead them to make this awful decision. They're gonna give the kid to someone who will take them from a life of poverty. They're doing the kind thing, even though it's breaking their hearts. 

"I'm gonna miss them" Craig says forlornly, rubbing his thumb over what Tweek assumes is a foot, kicking away.

"Me too" Tweek agrees.

"These kicks, they're so adorable" Craig says fondly. He pulls Tweek in closer and kisses Tweeks neck.

"I'm gonna be sad honestly" Tweek admits "my belly and my  _ -hnn-  _ arms will be empty. It'll be lonely."

"It's not the same, I know. But we'll have each other" Craig promises him. 

"I think we're gonna  _ -ah-  _ need each other a lot" Tweek agrees. Tweek doesn't want to say out loud that he's dreading this pregnancy ending. Sure, he's huge, everything hurts and he's never been so uncomfortable in his entire life but he's not quite ready to let go. 

"It'll be a different kind of lonely but I love you so much that I know it'll be okay" Craig says, hugging Tweek tightly. 

"It will" Tweek agrees "we'll be great parents  _ -nnn-  _ when we're older." 

—

Tweek yawns and puts down the video game controller. The console is second hand and Craig saved up for months for it. 

“I’m tired, I wanna  _ -nghh-  _ go to bed” he tells Craig.

“It’s like, 9PM Tweek” Craig deadpans back “it’s so early.”

“I don’t care, I’m exhausted” Tweek snaps, crossing his arms and glaring moodily.

“Okay, okay touchy. We can go to sleep. Don’t take your mood out on me” Craig retaliates. There's no malice behind it, he wraps his arms around Tweek and hugs.

“I’ll be nicer when I’ve gotten some  _ -nnn-  _ sleep” Tweek promises with a yawn.

“It’s whatever, I won’t fall asleep this early though” Craig tells him "I demand snuggles."

“Can you just  _ -ah-  _ entertain yourself on your phone?” Tweek asks "I'll provide snuggles though." 

“I can. You do realise this is really weird right? You stay up so late normally, you’re usually the one keeping me awake” Craig points out. He's definitely right, Tweek is usually an insomniac but tonight he can't fight it. He hasn't got an explanation why though. 

“I’m just exhausted, okay? Let me  _ -hnn-  _ sleep” he says, wriggling around on the bed until he's comfortable. He lets Craig be the little spoon even though he's exhausted. Craig likes being held so if he's going to be awake while Tweek sleeps he might as well be cuddled. 

“Yeah, you clearly need rest of your that tired” Craig agrees.

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow, we can  _ -ah-  _ make out and stuff," Tweek promises, his eyes beginning to flutter shut.

"I can't wait" Craig replies "goodnight babe, I love you."

"Love you too" Tweek mumbles sleepily "night."

—

Tweeks stomach wakes before he does. He's groggy but he's got enough of an autopilot to know what to do. His body carries him to the bathroom and before he even realises where he is he's doubled over the toilet in Craig's family's apartment. He is awake properly by the time he's done, coughing a little before he collapses against the wall. He just emptied the entire contents of his stomach but he still doesn't feel better. He stays there, dizzy and nauseous on the cold tiled floor until Craig gingerly knocks on the door. 

Tweek grunts in reply to Craig's request to come in. They've been together long enough that Tweek doesn't really care. They've seen almost every side to each other at this point.

"You alright dude?" Craig asks quietly, kneeling down to Tweeks level.

"I have never felt so sick in my life" Tweek complains, arms wrapped around his stomach. 

"Damn, I hope it wasn't my shitty cooking?" Craig says.

"Nah" Tweek replies, trying to swallow down more nausea "I felt fine until now."

"Okay, well I'll stay with you until you feel like you can go back to bed" Craig comforts him. Tweek appreciates his presence, its moments like this he knows they're in love for real. He's at his most vulnerable and all he wants is Craig's love. 

"I should go home, I don't wanna infect your  _ -hnng- _ family" Tweek sighs. He doesn't want to go home. He hates going home, but it's not on Craig's mom to look after him. She isn't her kid after all. 

"Nah, you're staying here. You need to rest and we know that's not happening at your place" Craig points out. Tweek knows it's true. His parents are drug addicts and there is nothing restful or happy about his home life. 

"I guess, what about your  _ -gah- _ mom?" He tells Craig.

"She literally told me that she wants you to stay here. I know my house isn't perfect, but it's safer than yours" Craig insists. Laura is super nice, she would say that. Craig's mom Laura is a good mom, her only fault is she's poor and a single mom. Being a single mom isn't a bad thing, it's just that she only has her own income. Things get rough for them sometimes. So she works almost all the time to keep the roof over Craig's and her head. It's not ideal, but it's better than Tweeks family dynamic. 

"I guess, ugh, I love you guys so much" Tweek says, he's always so humbled that his boyfriend and his mom show him more love than his parents ever have.

"My mom said you're family, we look after each other here" Craig says with a smile "I love you lots."

"Love you too" Tweek replies "I think I'm  _ -nghh- _ okay to go back to bed now."

"Feel better?" Craig asks as he helps Tweek to his feet. Tweek feels shaky and weak but he doesn't feel like any movement will cause him to empty his stomach. It's an improvement. 

"No, I still feel like ass but I don't think I'm  _ -nnn-  _ gonna puke anymore," Tweek explains. Craig walks him back to the bedroom with a guiding hand around his waist. 

"Okay, let's just try and get some rest" Craig suggests and they sink back into bed together. This time Tweek gets to be the little spoon. 

—

It's been a week and Tweek can't say he feels better. Not wholly anyway. The sickness seems to come and go in waves and Tweek has no way of predicting it. He will begin to feel better, think he's on the mend and go back to school only to be blown back by nausea part way through the day. He's been staying at Craig's place throughout the illness but nobody else seems to be sick. Laura is at work and not home much but Craig is all up in his space but hasn't caught anything. 

Craig thinks he's probably just struggling to shake off a virus. But Tweek isn't so sure. He doesn't know what's going on but he's beginning to worry. 

Whether he's feeling sick or not he's always exhausted. Craig's kinda bored with him, but he's a patient and loving partner. So even though Craig definitely wants to be doing more things with Tweek he allows Tweeks constant need for naps. Tweek gets randomly hungry too, when he doesn't feel sick he has intermittent periods of just inhaling food. He knows it's weird, and he wishes he had a bit more control over himself, but he's struggling. 

Maybe his hormones are all over the place or something. It's almost like his body has taken over and Tweek is no longer the pilot. Almost like he's…  _ oh. _

When it clicks into place Tweek suddenly feels so dumb for not realizing straight away. It all makes so much sense. The nausea, the fatigue and the random surges of hunger… he's pregnant. Or at least he could be. He can't be sure without a test but he'd be lying if he said he and Craig were foolproof with the contraception. They're usually quite good but they're teenagers. They're young and stupid and don't always have foresight. 

_ Pregnant.  _ That would be the worst thing imaginable. They're still in high school with no money and not enough maturity to handle the situation. There's no room in either family home for an extra human and nobody has the money to feed an extra mouth. Plus there's the physical aspect of being pregnant. He'd have to get fat and everyone at school would laugh. Not to mention the actual childbirth.  _ Shit. No!  _ Tweek can't do this. This can't be happening, this can't be going on within his body. 

He has to take charge now. 

Tweek barely has any cash so he has to do the scumbag thing. He hates lifting, he really does. He wants to keep his record clean so that he can get a good job… hopefully get into college.  _ Jesus,  _ he's fucked that all up now if this test is positive. He doesn't know how he'd find the money for a termination if he needs it. 

He hates lifting but sometimes you need to do things you don't want to to survive. As a kid it was shoplift or go hungry. He's good at it now and since he doesn't do it all that often he's not on the radar. So he lifts a test easily and slips away, the packet guiltily burning a hole in his pocket. 

He debates telling Craig first and taking the test with him but Tweek doesn't wanna wait. He takes the test in Craig's bathroom while Craig is at school and his mom is at work. His face burns red with embarrassment, hating himself for letting himself get into this situation. 

Tweek knows he's trapped if he has a baby now. Maybe he's not on drugs like his parents but he doesn't think he's able to provide all that much better. He'll have no high school diploma, no college education and mounting bills he won't be able to keep up with. They'll never be able to save enough to get out and just be stuck in this hell hole forever. It'll be too much pressure and Tweek will lose everything he's ever wanted: stability. 

He and Craig want the same things and have the same goals. They want to get an education, save money, get out. They want to build a home together, away from drugs, violence and to get out of poverty. They want to give their future kids good childhoods. Tweek thinks if this test is positive Craig will probably agree with him that they can't have a baby now. The time is wrong, they're too young. They can't in good conscience resign a kid to the same shit they're living now. They've gotta wait until they're older and ready. 

The timer on his phone dings, pulling him out of his reverie. His stomach drops as he turns the test over. 

_ Pregnant.  _

His life is over.

—


	2. A Life, A Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't know how to tell Craig. He doesn't think Craig would abandon him or act like a dick. Their relationship is strong and solid and Tweek has trust in it but saying the words out loud makes it real. It means they have to face it. Tweek can't find the words he feels will fuck up their lives forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter, Craig and Tweek discuss and decide their future.

He doesn't know how to tell Craig. He doesn't think Craig would abandon him or act like a dick. Their relationship is strong and solid and Tweek has trust in it but saying the words out loud makes it real. It means they have to face it. Tweek can't find the words he feels will fuck up their lives forever. 

He feels nauseous at the thought of something living inside of him, or maybe he's just nauseous it's hard to tell. But the idea freaks him out. He had sex with his boyfriend because they're in love and it's great. It's a normal thing to do and Tweek barely even thinks of baby making as it's true purpose. He's been able to disassociate himself from this part until now. He and Craig were just having fun, like they normally would and they created a whole new life through carelessness. Something about that feels wrong, like they shouldn't have that kind of power. Tweek feels silly and so out of his depth.

This is a life, or at least has the potential to be one and Tweek has to take that seriously. He's not anti abortion or anything, he feels like that's something you decide on an individual case-by-case basis. He's not sure what the right choice is for himself at this moment. Having an abortion would mean that it's all over. He won't have to deal with the physical effects of a pregnancy anymore and he doesn't need to make decisions for a properly formed human he birthed. Those things all sound great but something in the pit of his stomach feels heavy, he's just not sure he can handle the emotional toll. 

He's gotta tell Craig, he's had the day off school. He's still feeling sick even if now he knows why and he spends the whole day thinking about how he will do it. When Craig comes home Tweek is waiting, nervous and stiff.

"What's wrong with you?" Craig asks when Tweek doesn't melt into his hug.

"I gotta  _ -ah-  _ talk to you about something, man" Tweek fidgets, refusing eye contact. 

"Like what? What's the matter?" Craig asks, clearly worried. 

"It's serious," Tweek whispers solemnly. 

"Then  _ tell  _ me? Did you cheat on me or something?" Craig presses.

"No! Never, it's… I'm too scared to  _ -nghh-  _ say" Tweek admits, biting his lip.

"Tweek, whatever it is just tell me… we've been together forever I'm not gonna judge you" Craig tries his best to encourage. 

"You better not judge me, cause it's your fault  _ -gah-  _ too" Tweek replies, unable to stop his snippy response. Blame the hormones. 

"My fault? What are you on about?" Craig just sounds confused. Tweek needs to just bite the bullet. 

"I'm pregnant, Craig. Like there's a  _ -nghh-  _ baby in my stomach… we fucked up" Tweek says, freaking out a little more with every word that comes out of his mouth. 

"What?" Is all Craig can manage to offer. 

"You put a fucking  _ -gah-  _ kid in me, Craig that's what!" Tweek repeats, frustrated. 

"I know I just… when?" Craig blinks back at him dumbly.

"I don't know either, but it's happened and I'm  _ -hnn-  _ freaking the fuck out" Tweek spits out.

"Yeah well what the fuck are we gonna do with baby?" Craig asks, but Tweek knows he's not expecting an answer. 

"Nothing… gonna get our entire futures fucked up… that's  _ -ah- _ what" Tweek says sulkily. 

"Fuck" Craig breathes. Tweek decides just to be honest. 

"I don't think we should keep it," he whispers, ashamed. 

"It's your body Tweek… I won't make you like, one way or the other" Craig manages to reply. He's confused but clearly wants to be supportive. Tweek is scared but he appreciates him. 

"I just think like actually  _ -ah-  _ keeping the kid won't help anyone. We're gonna  _ -nghh-  _ struggle to give them any kinda good life…" Tweek explains.

"I mean yeah, we're so poor and we don't even have high school diplomas" Craig agrees. They both hate to admit it but they're not as grown up as they thought they were. They can't handle this. 

"We're gonna be  _ -nnn-  _ stuck in McDonald's going nowhere with this poor kid stuck with us" Tweek sighs sadly. 

"I think that's what I'm most afraid of… if you wanna get rid of it I'll go with you and stuff" Craig tells Tweek. Tweek believes it, Craig wants out of this neighborhood so bad. That'll never happen if they're having a baby. 

"That's the thing. I don't think I can, I just feel so  _ -gah-  _ guilty… it's not that I'm against it but it just feels  _ -ah-  _ wrong for me right now" Tweek struggles to explain. He knows it's irrational but his gut is telling him no. 

"Okay, so what do you wanna do?" Craig asks him.

"We could  _ -nghh-  _ give it up for adoption. I don't really want to stay pregnant and like, actually  _ -gah-  _ have a baby but I think this is the only option I can stomach" Tweek admits sheepishly. He's scared as fuck to stay pregnant but this is the only way he can see this situation playing out. 

"I mean, we can do that but like, aren't you afraid we'll get attached?" Craig asks sadly. Tweek knows he has a point. They both love each other and want a family together, just in the future, when they're older. They're probably gonna love their kid, whether they keep them or not. 

"Extremely afraid yeah but I think it's the only option I'm willing to try to  _ -hnn- _ work with" Tweek admits, he doesn't have any solutions. He sees no scenario where he and Craig are winners. So he might as well choose the path where the kid wins. It's something. 

"Okay, I mean at least the kid will have parents who want it and who are equipped to give them everything" Craig agrees, reaching for Tweeks hand and lacing their fingers together. 

"That feels like the kindest thing, it's probably going to upset us but think of how happy a childhood this kid can have with parents who  _ -ah-  _ want them so badly" Tweek replies. Something about that makes him happy, knowing he's gonna give the kid a much better childhood. 

"It's gonna hurt I think. I mean I don't really know how I feel, as it's so new but I'll probably grow to love them and will miss them when they're gone" Craig tells him sadly. Tweek agrees, it's going to hurt like hell. 

"Yeah I know, but I guess we'll just have to comfort each other… I just don't think I can terminate. I just  _ can't…"  _ Tweek can't quite articulate it but he just knows he won't be able to live with himself if he goes through with that. 

"My mom is gonna be so pissed" Craig says with a small laugh. The kinda laugh you have when everything around you has gone so wrong you just have to laugh. Tweek knows the feeling. 

"She was pregnant with you at our age she can't  _ -gah- _ judge too hard" Tweek reminds him. Teenage parents are a dime a dozen in this neighborhood. That's how they know why they can't keep the baby. They've seen how hard things get. 

"Still, hopefully she'll understand why we're doing what we're doing" Craig adds. Tweek nods, he thinks she will. 

"Thanks for not freaking out on me, I was  _ -hnn-  _ terrified to tell you," he says, pulling Craig in close for a hug. Craig squeezes him and doesn't let go.

"I'm scared it's just not productive to take that out on you. It's better if we talk and work it out together" Craig explains. Tweek has always appreciated Craig's rationality to counter his own raw emotions.

"And that's why I love you" he says, kissing Craig's cheek. He doesn't necessarily feel good, but he feels slightly better having all this off his chest. 

"I love you too babe, I think we've made the right call" Craig comforts him. 

Tweek has to agree, it's the only option that feels remotely right. He wants to give this kid everything, and he has none of anything. 

—

This is the last place Tweek though he'd ever be. Well, it's the last place he thought he'd be for this reason anyway. Their neighborhood has one decrepit underfunded free clinic that is overloaded with poor people who can't afford to attend any other clinic. They're here because it's the only doctor they can go to to confirm the pregnancy and how far along Tweek is. Tweek has never been to the sexual health part before. He probably could've used some pamphlets before all this. 

Tweek hates going to the doctor for any reason. His meth head parents rarely took him anyway but when they did it was always an ordeal. Tweek equated being sick with causing his parents a great inconvenience and he's never really quite grown out of it. Even though he's not sick now, he still doesn't want to be here. He's also nervous to see an ultrasound of the kid. It's harder to distance themselves once they've seen them. 

They wait in silence but it's not awkward. They both know the other needs space to mentally prepare for this experience. Instead Tweek rests his head on Craig's shoulder and Craig has an arm around Tweek. They communicate with touch instead. Tweek is exhausted, he severely underestimated how much energy growing a kid would sap. After school he just naps, exhausted from the simplest things. He appreciates Craig's patience, Craig often sits with him while he sleeps. Usually doing things on his phone or watching a movie with headphones. Tweek appreciates his company. 

Tweek feels embarrassed to be here, he could see anyone he knows. This clinic feeds their entire neighborhood and beyond. It's paranoia but he feels like someone would see them and just  _ know.  _ Tweek isn't ready to admit his condition to his peers at school. He's not even ready to admit it to Craig's mom Laura, or even this doctor for that matter. He trusts Laura a lot, even though she isn't his mom she's the most stable adult figure in his life. He thinks she'll be understanding towards their situation but Tweek is enjoying the normality of nobody knowing. Being able to pretend everything is okay is comforting. 

"I hate this place" Tweek says quietly to Craig, breaking their silence. 

"Because of your parents?" Craig asks.

"Because they used to bring me here, and other  _ -nnn- _ places, yell at me till I cried then make me claim I had a stomach ache or something… it was just a ploy to get  _ -ah-  _ drugs" Tweek explains. The memories leave a sour taste in his mouth. 

"They're scum Tweek" Craig tells him. Tweek knows this, but he came from them… he often wonders what this makes him. 

"I know, and when I got sick for real, or had to have  _ -hnn-  _ painkillers for whatever reason, they took them everytime and I was just sick and in pain. It stunk" he says sadly.

"Your parents can't do shit to you now, you've got me and my mom" Craig replies comfortingly, giving Tweeks hand a squeeze. 

"I don't know what I'd do without you" Tweek confesses. He probably would be still in his dirty, squalid apartment with his parents. Maybe he would have fallen into the same patterns and be hopelessly addicted to drugs. Who knows. 

"I'm sure you'd make it because you're strong but just know that even though you have shitty memories from here we can make better ones now. It's bittersweet knowing we aren't keeping the baby but it will still be great to see them" Craig explains. Tweek sees his point, the future can only get better, he hopes.

"At the end of the day I'm here with someone I  _ -ah-  _ love to see how the kid we made is growing… it's miles more positive" Tweek agrees. 

"Um… Tweek?" The doctor calls. Tweek and Craig both get up to follow her down the hall, hands interlocked. 

"You aren't here with or on behalf of your parents?" The doctor asks and Tweeks heart sinks.

"I'm here with my boyfriend only, we don't want anything except to see the  _ -gah-  _ baby" Tweek says, hoping he sounds honest and firm.

"I'm sorry to ask I just had to check, your parents are flagged" she says apologetically. Tweek hates that his parents have left this blight on his medical records. 

"They used to use me when I was young and couldn't stand up for myself but I don't  _ -nghh- _ play their games anymore" Tweek explains, hoping she trusts that he's no drug seeker. 

"I'm glad to hear that, so you're here for your first ultrasound?" She asks, changing tack and sounding more cheerful. 

"Yeah" Craig says "um, we are going to give the baby up for adoption but we still wanna see how they're going."

"Of course, that's a tough decision to make" She replies as they follow her into her exam room. 

"Yeah, that and I want to  _ -ah-  _ find out how far along I am and my  _ -nghh-  _ due date and that" Tweek adds "but yeah, we are giving them up. We can't give them what they need."

"Not because we don't love them! We love them heaps, we just know we can't support them" Craig adds in self consciously. 

"I will never judge you for choosing the best option for you. You both seem very mature to have made the choice you did" the doctor tells them sincerely. 

"I just wanna make sure they're healthy while they're in my belly and I'm the one  _ -hnn- _ responsible" Tweek says.

"Shall we get this appointment started? Hop on the scales and then we'll get started on the ultrasound" she asks. Tweek is grateful for moving along from the awkward beginning. 

"Sounds good" Tweek replies even though he's a little self conscious to have everyone seeing his weight. He doesn't think he's gained much as a result of the pregnancy but he's always been a little chubbier than he'd like to be. 

She doesn't comment on his weight either way. Just notes down the figures. She asks a few questions about how Tweek is feeling and what symptoms he is experiencing before moving on to the part they've all been waiting for. 

Tweek has never had a medical appointment like this one before. He sits up on the table and winces when the cold gel hits his belly. The doctor can tell he's uncomfortable and withdrawing a little. 

"You okay to go through with this?" She asks him "I can cover the screen if you need?"

"No, I wanna see them it's… dumb" Tweek says and bites his lip.

"What's the matter?" Craig presses. 

"I just… feel kinda fat and don't like  _ -nnn-  _ showing my belly… sorry, ignore me, I wanna see them" Tweek stutters.

"You're not fat," Craig says "your stomach is cute."

"I'm not judging you," the doctor tells him.

"It doesn't make it harder for you to see the baby?" He asks sheepishly. 

"Absolutely no way, you're nowhere near heavy enough for your weight to be affecting that… you're not really heavy at all really" she explains "you're not fat by any means."

"Okay, I just… I just wanna  _ -ah-  _ see them so I'll find a way through it" he tells her. 

"Alright then, let's see this baby" she says with a smile, switching the screen to life and bringing the wand to Tweeks stomach. 

Tweek watches the screen and not his belly. Tweek is surprised to see a baby that looks like a proper fetus all tucked up in his stomach. He was kinda expecting a blob or something that he couldn't really make out as human. But this baby is definitely a human, Tweek can make out the head, the four little limbs… it's overwhelming. 

"I'd say you're measuring about ten weeks, does that sound correct to you?" The doctor asks.

"That  _ -hnn-  _ sounds about right," Tweek admits.

"They actually look like a little human" Craig says in awe "Tweek we made a human."

"I know" Tweek says, "they're so adorable."

Tweek never thought he'd call a fetus adorable, but this one is theirs. Well, theirs temporarily anyway and Tweek doesn't think he could love them any more. It's something he's never felt before, he knows nothing about this little human-shaped blob or who they'll be but his heart swells with pride when he realises that it's  _ their _ little blob. 

"I know we aren't keeping them, but let's love them while they're  _ -hnng- _ here with us" Tweek says to Craig. The look in Craig's eyes tells Tweek he's in complete agreement. 

—


	3. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig is freaking out the most about telling his mom Laura. Tweek doesn't really know what it's like to have a parent that cares about him. Tweek doesn't even know if he cares to tell his own parents, their opinions mean so little to him. But Laura's does matter, she's the reason he has a roof over his head and some semblance of stability. Without her support Tweek is probably back in the meth den, pregnant. That can't happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig tell Craig's mother, in this AU Craig is the only child of a single mom so there's no Tricia or Thomas in this fic.

Craig is freaking out the most about telling his mom Laura. Tweek doesn't really know what it's like to have a parent that cares about him. Tweek doesn't even know if he cares to tell his own parents, their opinions mean so little to him. But Laura's does matter, she's the reason he has a roof over his head and some semblance of stability. Without her support Tweek is probably back in the meth den, pregnant. That can't happen. 

Tweek is nervous, but not in the way Craig is. Craig is terrified, he's jittery and can't manage to think straight whenever she's around. She totally knows they're hiding something. Tweek can't really take it anymore, even though telling people makes it more real, Laura has to know.

They wait for a rare evening she's not working, though they feel kinda bad they're about to ruin her one night off. 

"Mom?" Craig asks sheepishly, Tweek stands behind him. He wants to follow Craig's lead since Laura is Craig's mom after all. 

"Hey guys" she says from her seat on the couch "I feel like we all haven't been home at the same time for a while."

"Yeah it's been a little while, can we talk?" Craig replies distractedly. 

"It's important" Tweek adds.

"Of course" she says "I thought there might be something going on with you two, what's up?"

"Tweeks pregnant" Craig squeaks out. No buffer or softening the blow. Probably not how Tweek would have announced it but he said he'd let Craig take the lead. 

"Oh no" she says, sounding disappointed but not angry. Just sad and defeated. 

"Yeah, it really  _ -nnn-  _ wasn't the plan" Tweek sighs.

"But uh, we've done a lot of thinking and we know that we're too young and not equipped to handle a baby" Craig explains.

"Good," Laura adds, clearly waiting for the punchline. 

"So we're gonna give it up for adoption, I hope that's okay with you" Craig continues. 

"I mean, I'm not thrilled that we're here in the first place but I also am not really in a place to judge you. I think you've made a good decision" she says, sounding more concerned than angry. 

"I'm sorry Laura" Tweek says earnestly "this wasn't how we  _ -ah-  _ wanted things to go but I think this is the best thing we can  _ -nghh- _ do for the baby. If you want me to stay with my parents for a while I'll understand."

"What? No! Not at all Tweek, you're pregnant whether I like it or not and this is the healthiest place for you" she tells him "I want to support you."

"Thanks so much" Tweek gushes, he just doesn't know what else he can possibly do to thank her.

"Thanks mom" Craig adds, sounding relieved.

"It's fine, you're my kid and I made the decision to put you first sixteen years ago. And Tweek, you may as well be my kid at this point, I love you like you're my own" she tells them. Tweek has never felt so moved, he just can't believe he's worthy of such love and support. 

"I just don't know what I'd  _ -hnn-  _ do without you" he admits. 

"You don't need to worry about that, just use this as a wakeup call. Focus on keeping healthy for the baby and then make this painful decision worth it by finishing your education and living good lives" she says with a small smile.

"That's exactly what we want out of this" Craig agrees.

"I guess we just need to get through the next  _ -ah-  _ seven months" Tweek says with a shrug. He doesn't know how on earth he'll cope with all the changes his body will be going through.

"We will, I'll make sure we will," Laura says comfortingly. 

"I was a little worried that maybe you'd judge us for not keeping the baby" Craig admits, voice quiet. 

"Why on earth would I do that?" She replies with a frown. 

"Because you kept me and you said you don't regret it" Craig explains. Tweek can understand why that might cause some emotional turmoil in Craig. Tweek knows his parents never really wanted him in the first place and he's just sort of learned to live with it. Tweek is pretty sure Laura has always made Craig feel wanted, but her agreeing that adoption is the best choice might've confused him here. 

"I don't, but it was fucking hard. It is still fucking hard and I want an easier life for you" she explains "I want things for you I didn't want for me."

"You don't feel robbed of a grandchild or whatever?" Craig asks her.

"I'm not even forty Craig, I'm not ready to be made a grandma. I think it'll be sad to let them go but the family they go to will hopefully be able to meet their needs better" she says diplomatically. Her resisting would've made this so much harder. 

"Definitely, it's like, the kid isn't really ours even though we  _ -hnng-  _ made them" Tweek adds. 

"I feel bad saying that, but it's kinda true" Craig agrees sadly. 

"That's probably the best attitude to have, you really felt like mine Craig. I couldn't give you up, I was kinda selfish in a sense and I'm proud of you for making the harder choice" she encourages. 

"Well, it's not necessarily harder" Craig points out. Raising the kid would be pretty damn hard too. 

"You're right, I'm still proud of you though. You'll go on to do great things" she says with a nod and small smile. 

"And hopefully be better parents to a baby we're ready for, someday" Tweek says, he wants to make clear that he does want to be a parent just not  _ now.  _

"Someday" Craig echoes.

"I know you will be," Laura says.

—

Tweek is more uncomfortable than he thought he'd be. He's been fidgeting and wriggling all day at school. His jeans don't fit anymore but he'd forced them on this morning anyway. The waistband is digging into his belly in a way that was tolerable at the beginning of the day but as it's worn on it's become unbearable. 

He's been fighting with the button on his jeans for a little while now but he thinks today he may have actually lost the battle. While the button still does up, with a lot of effort on Tweeks part it's extremely uncomfortable. 

"I think you gotta just admit it man" Craig says once they're home after another shitty day at school. 

"I'm not trying to call you fat or anything" Craig continues "but they don't fit anymore and it's probably not good for you or the baby to keep wearing them."

"I feel fat," Tweek says, trying to force back tears. He doesn't understand why he's so upset, he's just gonna blame it on hormones. 

He discarded the jeans as soon as they got to Craig's room. Tweek kicked them into a corner like they're cursed. Now he's just wearing the oversized t-shirt he had on and his underwear. If he's honest, his underwear isn't fitting well either but it's better than the jeans. 

"Oh babe" Craig says, pulling Tweek into a hug "I know I can't change how you feel but you're definitely not fat. Gaining weight is part of the process but it's for the baby. It's not like getting fat, it's nourishing the baby and helping them grow."

"I know" Tweek says tearily, pressing his face against Craig's chest "I know but I still feel  _ wrong.  _ I don't feel like I'm  _ -ah- _ in control and it's scaring me."

"I'm so sorry, I wish I could do something besides talking but just try to remember you're doing a great thing. You're bringing in a new life for someone who desperately wants to be a parent. You're amazing" Craig tells him, his tone soft and comforting. 

"I feel huge, but at the same time I know I'm at that stage where I can just look  _ -nnn- _ fat, not pregnant" Tweek sighs, touching his stomach. 

"I don't think anyone has noticed Tweek" Craig says "I only know because I get to see you naked, which is an absolute treat by the way. You look incredible" he squeezes Tweek tighter.

"You're sweet" Tweek replies "you can admit it if you don't  _ -gah- _ like it."

"I love you Tweek, I know I'll love you at any size but knowing it's because you're pregnant makes it even better" Craig promises, rubbing Tweeks back.

Tweek rubs his hand over the small swell of his stomach. It mostly just looks like he ate a big lunch but to him it feels much bigger. Craig moves his hand down to touch Tweeks stomach too, he rubs slow, soothing circles. 

"Your little bump is so cute" Craig tells him "and if I could I would touch it all the time."

He doesn't touch it when they're out in public because they're still hiding the pregnancy. Laura is the only person who knows besides the doctor they see. Tweek isn't ready for his name to be the number one topic of school gossip. 

"Thanks" Tweek mumbles "I'm gonna have to wear  _ -hnn-  _ sweats to school or something."

"For a bit, we can go thrifting later" Craig suggests. Tweek frowns, the idea is a little weird for him. Knowing they can't even afford pregnancy clothes yet going through a pregnancy. Anyone who saw them shopping wouldn't know they're giving the baby up. 

"Thrifting for pregnancy clothes seems really  _ -nghh-  _ messed up" Tweek admits. 

"We have to get through this somehow" Craig says "fuck how we get there."

"I know I just wish we weren't so  _ -ah-  _ poor" Tweek sighs sadly. 

"I wished that before you got pregnant" Craig points out. He's not wrong. 

"That's true, this is what I get for wishing my  _ -nnn-  _ morning sickness would go away. Now I just wanna  _ -gah-  _ eat everything in sight and it's catching up with me" Tweek complains, looking down at both his and Craig's hands resting on his belly. 

"Your body is just doing what it needs to do to support the baby" Craig replies. 

"Yeah, I know… I'll  _ -ah-  _ get over it I guess" Tweek rambles. He knows he's being kinda silly but he just can't change how he feels. 

"I don't want you to feel sad but also, you're allowed to feel what you feel" Craig assures him. Tweek feels a little relieved knowing Craig is just there, helping him sort out his crazy emotions. 

"Thanks just… for listening," he says, nuzzling his face against Craig's chest. 

"It's okay babe, it's my job to support you while your body goes through this" Craig replies with a fond tone to his voice. 

"I love you so  _ -nnn-  _ much," Tweek says earnestly. 

"I love you too, you're so strong. I could not handle being pregnant" Craig tells him. Tweek thinks that's probably not true and Craig would roll with the punches as they come. 

"I think you'd do fine, but thanks" he says "I feel kinda  _ -hnn-  _ better now."

"I'm so glad to hear it, just lean on me when things get hard, okay?" Craig assures him. 

"Okay, but uh, now I'm feeling hungry… can we  _ -nghh-  _ eat?" Tweek admits shyly. He's always hungry now, it's a little torturous. 

"Sure, I'll make you some pasta," Craig says with a smile. 

Tweek has never been more grateful for his boyfriend than this moment. 

—

Despite his determination to stay in school Tweek hates being there. Right now it's hostile and he feels like he and Craig are on their own separate island from everyone else. People know they're hiding something and they're not afraid to speculate on what it is. 

Tweek is currently restricted to sweat pants and oversized t-shirts, some which are Craig's that his boyfriend has graciously leant him. They're more comfortable around his belly and hips but are too long in the legs and sleeves. It's awkward. Tweek just tries to pretend he's a possessive boyfriend who wants to be seen wearing his boyfriend's clothes. Not that he's pregnant and poor and rapidly running out of things that fit. 

At the very least people are speculating about his weight. It upsets Tweek because he's already struggling with this privately. As high schoolers, are their lives so boring that a usually invisible kid like Tweek is worthy of having his weight dissected by the student body? Craig has turned into his attack dog of sorts. Craig's usual disposition is:  _ ignore them, be the bigger person _ type stuff but he's been taking these rumors very personally and defending Tweek loudly at every opportunity. Tweek appreciates this purely because he doesn't have the energy. He's just horribly fatigued, hungry and moody all the time. He doesn't know why Craig is so good to him, since he's being a particularly high maintenance partner at the moment but he doesn't know what he'd do with him. 

_ I swear Tweek is looking bigger every day.  _

_ He's pregnant, I keep telling you. Why else would Craig be so worked up? _

_ He needs to just admit it, he's looking more and more ridiculous. _

_ Of course Craig would knock Tweek up, they always seemed too happy.  _

_ It'll break them up. It breaks everyone up. _

_ Poor Tweek, at least Craig hasn't gained any weight. When Craig leaves him he's just gonna be fat, sad and with a baby.  _

_ I don't think Craig would be a deadbeat dad. _

_ He will, they all are.  _

_ Even if they stay together they'll be so unhappy but trapped. So glad that's not me. _

_ How embarrassing if he's not even pregnant though, just a fat fuck?  _

It's hard not to listen to the constant chatter in the halls. Not one person has mentioned adoption though. Tweek thinks that's because the culture around these parts is shotgun weddings and poverty, adoption isn't common. Tweek knows a lot of unhappy teen parents in the area. All of them dropped out of school, got married or ended up a single parent. 

"You wouldn't  _ -nghh- _ leave me" Tweek mutters quietly to Craig, his tone insecure and not so sure. 

"Never Tweek, I am positive I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I would still be here, no matter which path we chose" Craig comforts him, rubbing his back. Craig is much better at keeping his head high as they walk down the halls but Craig also isn't having his body dissected by his peers. 

"I know" Tweek says glumly "it just  _ -nnn- _ gets to me sometimes."

"I hate them, they need to leave us alone" Craig grumbles.

"Something else needs to happen to  _ -ah- _ distract them, like Kenny's parents being arrested again" Tweek says.

"We could just meet it head on, just say yeah, you're pregnant but we're staying together and they can't do shit to break us up" Craig suggests. 

"I don't want to have to tell the whole  _ -hnn-  _ story. I'm not ready to explain the adoption and have to  _ -ah- _ justify myself. Soon we will have to tell everyone but for now I just want my privacy. I feel really  _ -nghh- _ fragile emotionally" Tweek explains, a little defeated. 

"I'm sorry babe, I'll do whatever I can to help you feel better" Craig replies, pulling Tweek in close. 

"Just being here with me, putting on a  _ -hnng- _ united front, helps heaps," Tweek tells him with a small smile. 

"Like I said, I'm spending the rest of my life with you. I love you and I'll always keep you safe" Craig says happily. It helps knowing Craig is so committed to them as a couple. Tweek wants to marry him and run off into the sunset forever. 

"I love you too, I thought the second trimester was when you're supposed to get your  _ -hnn-  _ energy back but I'm just  _ exhausted"  _ Tweek sighs. More than anything else he wants a nap.

"It's not the same for everyone I guess. If it gets too much for you just say, maybe you can do some school work from home?" Craig asks him. While tempting, Tweek doesn't think it's a good idea. 

"Imagine how bad the rumors will  _ -ah-  _ get then? And it'll make it so much harder to come back" Tweek explains. Tweek wants to have as little time off as possible.

"Okay, I'm crazy impressed how determined you are" Craig grins, his eyes full of love and admiration. Tweek feels a little shy under the praise and blushes. 

"I want to finish school on time. I don't want to be that kid that disappears for nine months then claims mono" he asserts. 

"We're gonna get through this together," Craig says. Tweek nods, he has faith in them. 

—


	4. Kids Having Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yeah, there's -ah- heaps of growth in the second trimester. I'm about to go from a cute baby bump to a blimp" Tweek jokes, patting his stomach. 
> 
> "You're my blimp though" Craig laughs, nuzzling in close.
> 
> "Shut your ass up Tucker, you -nghh- did this to me anyway" Tweek replies, pushing Craig away playfully.

"This is the worst," Tweek complains. The jeans he's trying on do up but they're so unflattering. People don't always donate specifically pregnancy clothes, so they're just looking for bigger sizes they can make work. The jeans fit over his belly, but the rest is very ill-fitting. 

"It's not perfect but what are we gonna do?" Craig shrugs "I think you can make anything look good."

"I know you do, but I feel like  _ -gah-  _ ass," Tweek complains. It sucks that their choices are limited and that Tweek really doesn't feel good in anything he wears but Craig is totally right, it's the only option they have. 

"It is only temporary," Craig says. 

"Not necessarily I could be  _ -ah- _ fat forever now" Tweek jokes. Although he is a little bit afraid of this to be honest. His body is changing so rapidly and he's really concerned about how this is all going to affect him in the long run. Having a post-baby body with no actual baby sounds horrible. 

"You're not fat, you're pregnant but if you don't wanna lose baby weight I won't complain" Craig replies with a cheeky smile. 

"You better fucking not since I'm doing all the  _ -nghh-  _ hard work" Tweek retorts. He heads back into the janky fitting room to try on the next pair of shitty pants he would never wear by choice. 

"You are, you're making a sacrifice for the kid and I love that about you" Craig says from outside the door. 

"I sure as hell hope you  _ -nnn- _ love me when I'm all stretch marked with no baby" Tweek replies. He's trying to put on a brave face and joke around, but secretly he's terrified this is actually what's happening. 

"I will, whatever happens I know you'll always look awesome" Craig hums happily. Tweek thinks he believes him, on good days. 

"Am I just a  _ -hnn- _ trophy wife?" Tweek jokes, wanting to keep the mood light. 

"Totally, I don't love you for every aspect of your being or anything" Craig replies. 

"You are the best, I love every part of you too" Tweek assures him. Craig has been giving him so much encouragement support lately and he doesn't want it to be one sided. 

He pulls up the next pair of pants, which are just an ugly pair of black slacks but have an elastic waist. It's actually a little big for him but he figures that will be helpful as his belly grows. 

For the first time ever Tweek looks down at his stomach and thinks  _ yeah, it's kinda cute.  _ It's a weird feeling since he's spent so much time hating it. It's like his brain has finally realised that the little bump is actually a baby. Tweek has a weird way of separating himself, he knows the baby is biologically his and he does have love for it but at the same time he tries not to think of the kid as his. He tries to think that he's carrying this new, lovely human as a surrogate. 

He places a hand on the curve of his stomach and smiles. While he doesn't feel cute as a whole person, he thinks the bump is kinda cute. Knowing the baby's growing and nurturing did this. He feels weirdly proud.  _ Keep thriving _ , he thinks. 

"Hello? Did you get lost?" Craig calls.

"I'm coming now" Tweek replies, snapping out of his pleasant little moment. Just him and the baby. As scared as he is of the future and how worried he is to give them up. The moments like this that catch him off guard are worth it. 

"I'm just gonna put my pants back on, I think we should just  _ -ah- _ get these" Tweek adds, taking off the slacks and reaching for the pair of Craig's sweats he's been relying on until now.

Once the pants are back on Tweek gathers up his selections and heads out of the fitting room. 

"You want them all?" Craig asks. Tweek doesn't really want them but he does need them and he's adult enough to admit that. 

"Yeah, what's a few months of ugly clothes. The little one is  _ -nnn-  _ worth it" Tweek hums, he pats his stomach affectionately, not caring who sees. 

"I agree, you're doing a great job" Craig encourages him with a smile. 

Tweek hesitates before asking what he really wants to ask. It seems weird to have to even ask but he's feeling weirdly okay with being pregnant right now. 

"Do you… do you think my bump is  _ -ah-  _ cute?" He asks. 

" _ So  _ cute Tweek, you don't even know. Knowing that little bump is our baby tucked away in there? So cute" Craig grins, his eyes light up with pride and love as he pulls Tweek in close. 

"I think I'm beginning to see what you see, maybe" Tweek muses as they head to the counter to pay. 

—

"You're definitely gonna have to just tell everyone at school" Craig says, gesturing to the roundness of Tweeks stomach, even under what used to be an oversized hoodie. 

"They've had a growth spurt, I counted like  _ -hnng-  _ five new stretch marks" Tweek says, rubbing a hand over the curve.

He doesn't care who sees anymore. While he's still self conscious about his body changing he's done hiding. 

They're in the waiting room of the free clinic, to have another check up and scan. Tweek is kind of excited to see the baby again, it's like the only real times he's gonna get to see them. These are the moments they'll get together. Tweeks not super sure how adoption works, he figures he'll learn the fine print very soon but he thinks they're going to ask for no contact outside letters or updates. Tweek isn't sure he can live with himself if he's seeing the kid regularly, he wants both himself, Craig and the kid to have as normal lives as possible. 

"I think growth spurts are pretty normal for this stage" Craig says. He reads up on pregnancy a lot in his spare time, Tweek thinks it's super cute. 

"Yeah, there's  _ -ah-  _ heaps of growth in the second trimester. I'm about to go from a cute baby bump to a blimp" Tweek jokes, patting his stomach. 

"You're my blimp though" Craig laughs, nuzzling in close.

"Shut your ass up Tucker, you  _ -nghh- _ did this to me anyway" Tweek replies, pushing Craig away playfully. 

"Pretty sure you contributed, but okay" Craig retorts. 

"I'm not the one who can't put a  _ -gah-  _ condom on" Tweek says with a giggle. 

"I can't have done that bad a job, seeing as we didn't realize it was busted" Craig hits back. Tweek laughs but then realizes where they are. They're kinda acting like the teenagers they actually are. 

"This conversation is getting too  _ -nnn-  _ TMI" he points out.

"Yeah, nobody else needs to know the details of how we got here" Craig agrees but he still has a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

"Tweek?" The doctor calls, interrupting them. It's a different doctor than before. Being a free clinic they never get the same doctor every time. 

"Oof" Tweek says as he struggles a little to get himself up out of the chair. The new baby weight is throwing off his balance, something fierce. 

"You okay?" Craig asks, placing a steadying hand on Tweeks shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm just not used to all  _ this  _ yet" he replies, gesturing to his stomach, which is sticking out much further than a few weeks ago. 

Craig takes his hand and they follow the doctor down the hallway into her office. 

"Nice to meet you" she says with a smile "according to your charts your last appointment was on track."

"They've grown a ton," Tweek says, touching his stomach self consciously "I can  _ -nghh-  _ physically see it."

"That's great, it's always comforting to know they're growing well," she says.

"Definitely" Craig agrees.

"I'm super excited to see the  _ -ah-  _ difference," Tweek says happily. 

The appointment goes the way it usually does, she asks him about his symptoms and diet, she weighs him and measures his belly. She tells him he's completely on target for his dates, at least from the outside. Then he gets up on the table and they get to see the inside.

Tweek has become much more comfortable sharing his bare stomach with the doctors. Maybe that's because he looks much more pregnant than chubby now, but also just from doing this multiple times in a medical setting. He's never received any judgement from doctors, and he's grateful. 

The gel is always cold, Tweek doesn't think he'll ever get used to that part. He gets through it every time, it's always worth it. He grabs Craig's hand as the screen flicks to life and the doctor moves her wand over his belly. 

The image of their baby comes on screen. Tweek feels like he can see more details in their profile, even if they're minor. Tweek can see that their thumb is in their mouth. For some reason the thought of their little one sucking their thumb is so heartwarming to Tweek. They look so much more like a real person. 

"Have you felt much movement yet?" The doctor asks him. 

"No, but I  _ -hnn- _ read somewhere that it can take longer if you're chubby and I was kinda chubby when I first got pregnant…" Tweek admits. 

"Hardly" Craig cuts in. 

"That can be the case, but also sometimes a first pregnancy can just take longer. As we can see here the baby is moving, and don't worry I already took a picture of that adorable thumb sucking" the doctor tells them. Tweek is thrilled she captured the moment.

"I'm gonna cry" Craig says "that's so amazing. That's a tiny little human."

"They're  _ -nnn-  _ growing and becoming their own little person" Tweek hums happily. 

"Do we want to know the gender?" The doctor asks. Something in Tweeks heart drops, suddenly faced with more reality. 

Both Craig and Tweek look at each other awkwardly. Tweek shakes his head but keeps his eyes trained on Craig 

"Uh, no" Craig says, sensing Tweek wants him to take the lead "we're actually giving them up for adoption."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. That should have been on your chart, very sorry I missed it. We can keep the gender under wraps if it helps you. Have you made any connections with an adoption agency?" She asks them. Tweek can tell she is genuinely apologetic. 

"Yeah I'd  _ -ah-  _ prefer not to know, but no we haven't yet. We weren't quite sure where to go?" Tweek replies, if she can point them in the right direction that would definitely help them figure shit out. 

"I'll give you guys some information, we have pamphlets as part of our sexual health clinic" she says with a smile. 

"Thanks so much, that takes out some of the  _ -nghh-  _ worry for us I guess" Tweek replies gratefully. 

"Can we get two copies of the ultrasound picture? I think the parents will wanna see the thumb sucking" Craig asks. Tweek hadn't thought of that.

"Absolutely" the doctor tells him kindly. 

Tweek is honestly so proud of Craig for thinking of them, seeing as they probably won't have many pre-birth memories of their kid. The least they can do is provide some. 

—

"I can't  _ -hnng-  _ sleep" Tweek whines from his side of the bed. Which really isn't anything as it's just the two of them squished on a single bed. It's frustrating because Tweek is so tired but he's just too uncomfortable to actually sleep. 

"Why?" Craig asks with a sleepy yawn. 

"I dunno, because I have a whole  _ -gah-  _ person in my stomach maybe?" Tweek replies, irritated. 

"Uncomfortable?" Craig says slowly.

"Yes, my belly is  _ -nnn-  _ getting heavy" Tweek explains, still a little snappy. 

"I could get another pillow for you? You could put it under your stomach?" Craig suggests. 

"Yeah, can you?" Tweek says, tone softening as he realises Craig is probably right and he should be nice to the person doing him a favor. 

"Sure, let me just go get it" Craig says, yawning again and hopping out of bed. 

Tweek envies the grace he has as he just gets out of bed and waltzes out of the room. Tweek can't do anything gracefully anymore, while he's not huge the extra weight of his belly is enough to throw off his whole equilibrium. He can't get up without effort and he's walking slower than before. It's embarrassing as fuck. Everyone at school is laughing about it too. Everyone knows he is pregnant. It's awful but also it's a massive relief. Tweek is getting better at ignoring them. 

Tweek groans, he can't help it. His hips and back hurt so much, it doesn't really matter what position he's in. Trimester three is going to be unbearable. He strokes a hand over the curve of his stomach. He's wearing a regular shirt as pyjamas since he doesn't really care if Craig sees his stomach if it rides up. The bottom sliver of his belly is exposed and Tweek can't bring himself to care. 

"You're growing too quick" he says to his stomach "slow down, I'm not ready to  _ -gah- _ let you go yet."

He hums a little at his belly, his hand resting on the roundest part of the curve. 

"Stay with me a little  _ -hnn- _ longer," he says.

Almost as if he's getting a response he feels what he can only describe as a small flutter in his stomach. He may not have noticed it if he were busy during the day but since it's night and he's focusing all his attention on the baby he catches it. 

He rubs the area of his belly he thinks he felt the movement. Is that his baby in there? Showing him they're here. 

"Is that  _ -nghh- _ you, little one?" He says "thanks for being here with me  _ -ah-  _ little guy."

Now he supposes he'll just get to feel more and more movement. It makes him feel weirdly happy, like he has a little buddy to go through this with. This thing in his stomach is a real person, who can move around on their own, suck their thumb, kick his belly. It's overwhelming in the best way possible. 

Tweek is snapped out of his reverie when Craig returns, pillow in tow.

"It's not the best but it'll do, right?" He says, not realising the world changing moment that just happened for Tweek. 

"Yeah, thank you. Hey dude, the baby just  _ -ah-  _ moved" Tweek says getting straight to the point.

"You felt a kick?" Craig replies, perking up with excitement. 

"More like a flutter" Tweek says, rubbing his stomach affectionately.

"Holy shit, do you think I could feel?" Craig scurries over to sit by Tweek on the bed.

"Not yet, it wasn't  _ -nnn-  _ strong," Tweek tells him. He wishes Craig could feel, that would be an incredible moment to have together. He has to remind himself that they will get it soon when the baby gets bigger and stronger. 

"Damn, well still, it's great knowing that they're there" Craig says with a smitten smile. 

"That's exactly how I feel. I know this baby isn't technically  _ -nnn- _ ours but let me pretend for a minute" Tweek says. He just needs a moment to pretend it's a perfect world and that they're older, ready to bring this baby into their home. 

"Sure" Craig nods.

"I love you so much, and our baby, the one we made together and are growing is thriving and moving around and I'm just so  _ -nghh-  _ happy I got to feel it" Tweek gushes happily. 

"I love you too, I'm stupid proud of you and the baby with every milestone" Craig encourages. 

"Thanks, I'm so sorry I was  _ -gah- _ snappy with you before. I shouldn't take that out on you" Tweek tells him sincerely. 

"It's okay Tweek, I knew you didn't mean it" Craig replies, pulling Tweek into a hug. 

"I wanna try and  _ -nghh-  _ sleep if that's okay? Thanks for getting the pillow" Tweek asks. He hopes the pillow helps his comfort level. 

"All good, is it okay if I touch your belly while we cuddle?" Craig asks a little sheepishly. Tweek grabs his hands and places them on his stomach. 

"Always" Tweek tells him "you never have to  _ -hnn-  _ ask."

—


	5. A Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig decides to take the lead. He offers to do more legal research and figure out a meeting with the adoption agency. Tweek is happy to accept because he doesn't think he could concentrate on any kind of legal talk right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig start the process of choosing the parents for their baby.

School is still a shitstorm. Tweek hoped maybe they'd all get bored seeing as he and Craig aren't playing into the rumors or the teasing but it's still going. Once Tweek confirmed it the student body went wild with  _ I told you!  _ And  _ I knew he wasn't just fat!  _ Apparently there was a betting pool, which Tweek finds particularly hurtful but he's not surprised. Cartman is in their year group after all. 

Then Tweek had to correct them, because they all just assumed that they were keeping the baby because everyone who gets pregnant around here keeps the baby. That caused more controversy than Tweek had anticipated. Tweek thought they'd see eye to eye with him, that they were making a mature decision to help everyone's futures. Some of the kids at school disagree.

Most kids just kinda think the situation is funny and that Tweek is dumb for putting his body through a pregnancy with no baby at the end of it. But that kinda shows their maturity, in Tweeks eyes. 

But some kids are more malicious. There's some who think if you make the baby you're stuck with the baby and anything else is selfish. They've actually had some people saying they're psychopaths for giving their baby up. Tweek has to admit he had to go to the bathrooms and cry after that. It's been the most hurtful remark so far. Tweek doesn't want to explain the complexity of his feelings to people who would never understand. So he just holds his head high and ignores them even if deep down he's really hurt. 

"We aren't psychopaths" Craig tells him, hugging Tweek close in the bathroom stall Tweek had locked himself in. He let Craig in because Craig is Craig. Craig is good at hugging and making him feel better. 

"They have a  _ -hnng- _ point though?" Tweek says, distressed. 

"No, they don't. They don't understand shit. What would be a shitty thing to do? Bringing a kid into the world that we can't care for and expecting them to just survive on love" Craig explains, while holding tweek close. The swell of Tweeks belly presses against Craig's stomach. 

"I guess I just… I do feel like a monster sometimes and they just  _ -nnn-  _ hit that nerve" Tweek says, sniffling a little and snuggling closer. 

"I feel guilty too babe, but at the end of the day I know we're doing the right thing. I couldn't live with myself if I gave my kid an unhappy childhood just because the people around me were ignorant and judgmental" Craig assures him. Tweek doesn't know how Craig is just so good at this, especially since Craig was so emotionally awkward when they first met. That's growing up together he supposes. 

"I hate it when you're right" he mumbles. 

"No you don't, or at least I don't think you do this time" Craig hums, giving the top of Tweeks head a kiss. 

"You're right, it's so hard for me because my emotions are already  _ -gah-  _ haywire and they're just  _ poking  _ at already sore spots" Tweek explains. He hates how out of control his pregnancy hormones make him feel. 

"They're dumb and immature. We aren't psychopaths. We're actually bright and mature kids who know that bringing a child into the world will be a disaster" Craig comforts.

"I guess so, I hate them for making me  _ -hnn-  _ question myself" Tweek admits, he'd thought his convictions were stronger and his skin thicker. 

"Listen Tweek, we are gonna be amazing parents. This experience will make us better parents and when we're older, when we have the means and the stability we're gonna have a wonderful family" Craig says.

"God, I hope so. Is it bad this has made me realize just how much I  _ -ah-  _ want kids? Just not now" Tweek asks. He had vaguely wanted kids before but now the urge is so much stronger. He supposes this is also down to biology. 

"No, I feel the same way. This is just a really early lesson we get to have. I really do think it's gonna help us when it's actually time to have our family" Craig replies, it's assuring to know he feels the same way. 

"I know, I'm just… I'm gonna miss them. I'm  _ -nnn-  _ fond of this little one" Tweek sighs, placing a hand on his stomach. 

"Me too Tweek, if you do wanna change your mind I'll support you but… I'm still standing by our decision" Tweek tells him. Tweek appreciates the support but he knows where he stands. 

"I'm not changing my mind, I'll just  _ -ah-  _ miss them. Even if they make me uncomfortable, fat and  _ -hnn- _ kick me from the inside" Tweek halfheartedly complains. The baby is moving underneath Tweeks hand, Tweek can only feel it from the inside but it's nice to know they're there. The movements are definitely becoming stronger and more purposeful, it won't be long until Craig can feel them too. 

"The disrespect this kid has, I like them" Craig says with a laugh. 

"Shut up, me too though" Tweek agrees. They both have to laugh, of course their kid would have such spirit. 

"Do you wanna just go home babe? Mom won't mind if we take one mental health day" Craig suggests softly when their laughter dies down. 

"Yeah, I think I need it today. We're going to  _ -hnng- _ school tomorrow though" Tweek says, determined. 

"Definitely, you're the boss" Craig jokes, but takes Tweeks hand to lead them out all day.

"I better be" Tweek replies cheekily.

—

Tweek is officially in the third trimester and he's feeling it. He's tired, feeling weighed down by his stomach and always,  _ always  _ hungry. It's because of this he's procrastinating important decisions. Not because he's changed his mind about the adoption but more because he's too exhausted to make emotionally difficult choices. He knows they should not have put this off but it had felt too soon before. It was too new and too raw. 

Craig decides to take the lead. He offers to do more legal research and figure out a meeting with the adoption agency. Tweek is happy to accept because he doesn't think he could concentrate on any kind of legal talk right now. Originally Tweek had wanted their adoption to be closed. He hadn't known what the term for that was but he had thought he wanted no contact and for their identities to be hidden from the kid. Craig, with all his research, has changed his mind.

"Everything I've read says that statistically closed adoptions aren't good for the kids" Craig says "it's less common now and outdated."

"Isn't it  _ -nghh-  _ confusing, having these random people pop into your life occasionally?" Tweek asks. Surely it would be disruptive to have these not-parents coming and going. 

"No, in an open adoption you negotiate the level of contact. But it's just psychologically better for children to know where they came from and to know they weren't abandoned" Craig explains. That does kinda make sense. Tweek did realise there is sometimes some psychological anguish for the children of adoption too but he hoped having loving parents and wonderful childhood memories would counteract that a little. He sees how this dynamic could be a little healthier. 

"I'm selfish, what if through seeing them I  _ -hnn-  _ decide I want them back?" He asks. Because he is genuinely scared of that. Of regretting his decision so much, or in a moment of fear changing his mind. 

"You can't once they're adopted and you've signed away your parental rights" Craig replies. He's missed the point a little but Tweek is grateful for the information. 

"I know, I mean what if I  _ want  _ to, even though I  _ -gah- _ can't" he clarifies. 

"Well we could negotiate minimal contact. Like we only send letters and get updates but the kid knows who we are and has the option to increase contact when they're older" Craig offers. Tweek likes this better, he knows too much physical contact will break his heart. He needs to keep a safe distance. 

"I think I'd like that better. Visits would be so  _ -nghh-  _ hard" he says. 

"I know what you mean, but I think it's going to be better for the kid if we do an open adoption" Craig states, making his wishes clear. 

"I want to do the  _ -ah- _ right thing by them, it kinda defeats the purpose if we cause them even more  _ -nnn-  _ anguish" Tweek agrees sadly. 

"That's how I see it too" Craig nods.

The agency they're working with isn't one affiliated with a religion. Craig picked this one purposely. He said that he didn't want his kid adopted by crazy fundamentalists. Tweek is a little less picky but he supposes any couple is probably a step up from his own meth head parents. 

The agency has given them some profiles to look through. It's weird trying to choose with just a tiny glance at the people. They will get to meet them if this process moves further but they have to make the first move.

"I asked for couples who didn't mention Religion" Craig says, "if there is a nice religious couple and they're not crazy I'm ok with it but yeah, I figured if their profile is all about Jesus I'll pass."

"This is weird. The whole  _ -hnng-  _ reason we're giving this baby up is because we know we're not going to be the best parents. How are we supposed to know what is  _ -ah-  _ good parenting material?" Tweek points out. He has no idea what green flags, or red flags, would look like on these profiles. 

"Well to get this far they've passed a bunch of background checks and proved they are financially stable" Craig informs him. 

"There's more to it than that though Craig, how can I know they'll  _ -nghh- _ love this child like I would've? Better than I could've?" Tweek explains. Craig seems a little stumped there. 

"I guess we just have to meet them and see if they're a fit" he suggests. They are both so out of their depth. 

"This couple have been  _ -gah- _ trying to have a kid for ten years. Ten years? Holy shit" Tweek says, a profile has caught his eye. 

"Well, they're a good age too, not young but also not aging so that they'll be grandparent age when the kid is in high school" Craig points out. 

"That's good, no mention of  _ -hnn-  _ religion either" Tweek nudges Craig. 

"Yeah, I'd feel so bad if I lowkey gave my kid to a cult" Craig winces.

"There are  _ -nghh- _ normal religious people you know?" Tweek says, shaking his head.

"Yes, but normal people usually don't spout about it at every opportunity. Normal people have personalities outside worshipping Jesus" Craig explains. He does kinda have a point. 

They're smiling in the photo the agency has provided. They look like a pretty standard suburban white couple. The woman has honey blonde hair, freckles and blue eyes. Her smile looks genuine and kind. The man is an aging sort of tall, dark and handsome only his hair is beginning to salt and pepper slightly. He has dark eyes and a face with faint laugh lines. Tweek can imagine them playing with the baby, those kind smiles on their faces because their kid did something cute. The couple seem nice enough, they're in their early forties and Tweek kinda gets a good vibe from them. He knows it's probably wrong to go with a gut feeling, but this is all he has. 

Tweek thinks he likes them. Their names are Kelly and Graham and he tells Craig that those are the people he wants to meet. 

Craig seems to pick up on the same vibe and agrees. Tweek is nervous at how fast everything seems to be moving but at the same time, he hopes these people are the ones. He hopes their meeting goes well and he can rest easy knowing they've found the baby the best home possible. 

—


	6. Big Dad Energy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet their chosen prospective parents on the neutral ground of the adoption agency. Tweek has never heard of someone being murdered by psychos pretending to want to adopt their baby but he doesn't rule it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter, I hope that's okay, it just worked out better to structure it this way. Tweek and Craig meet the perspective parents they chose, Tweek is obviously nervous.

They meet their chosen prospective parents on the neutral ground of the adoption agency. Tweek has never heard of someone being murdered by psychos pretending to want to adopt their baby but he doesn't rule it out. He's happy to be meeting in a supervised environment. If someone ever did try to kill him he'd pretty much be a sitting duck at this point. He's far too pregnant to be running away or winning a fight. He's so vulnerable when he really thinks about it, the thought makes him shiver 

"They're not murderers, Tweek" Craig says. He clearly felt Tweeks shudder from their arms being interlinked. They know each other so well that Craig knows exactly his train of anxious thought.

"I know they're not but my mind just doesn't  _ stop  _ when I'm worried" Tweek says. He can speculate on dumb things like being murdered instead of dealing with the real emotions. 

"What are you worried about?" Craig asks. Tweek knows he means what Tweek is  _ truly  _ worried about. Being together so long is a benefit and a downside. 

"I'm actually  _ -gah-  _ worried that they won't like us, or we won't like them… or that I'll  _ -nnn-  _ never find a couple I'm happy with I'm in the third trimester now and it's getting too close and I'm  _ scared"  _ Tweek rants. He doesn't mean to just word vomit, but if there's one person who'll get it, it's Craig. 

"I'm nervous about meeting them too, but I'm sure we will find someone, even if it's not these guys. Every bit of literature I've read on adoption says there's so many people looking to adopt. They have to go through so much to get to this point, and are totally committed to their future child" Craig tells him and while Tweek appreciates the reassurance his anxiety isn't based on logic. It's not about statistics and likelihood, not for him. 

"I guess, it's weird that the best thing is to give them to  _ -nghh-  _ strangers" Tweek says "when you think about it." 

"It'll be way less chaotic for them growing up" Craig replies. Tweek knows this, but it doesn't make this process any less weird. 

"I know, I just  _ -ah-  _ want today to go right," he sighs. Craig unlinks their arms to wrap his arm around Tweeks waist and pull him in tight. He places his other hand on Tweeks belly and kisses his cheek.

"Whatever happens, we've got each other," he says softly. 

Tweek feels better walking into the agency with Craig as a united front. He knows really that nobody is against him. The agency wants this to work out, the prospective parents want this to work and Tweek and Craig most definitely do. He knows nobody is here to judge him, or even to kidnap and murder him for his baby but still, he's nervous. 

He let's Craig do the talking. Craig is generally better at handling these kinds of social situations. They're guided to an unattended room where they will be meeting Kelly and Graham. Tweek says their names over and over in his head in an attempt to make them more familiar. The parents of his baby, Kelly and Graham,  _ maybe.  _

Tweek doesn't speak while they wait. Craig seems to understand why and gives him the silence. He rubs Tweeks back comfortingly instead. Tweek wonders if they're running late or if time is just passing extra slowly for him. 

Tweek stares at his hands, where they're resting on the curve of his stomach. He taps at the skin nervously, comforted when he feels the baby moving underneath, like a reply. Poor thing doesn't know that they're deciding their fate. 

Tweek is drawn from the rhythm of his fingers tapping and the movement of the baby by the sound of the door opening. The agent they (mostly Craig) have been working with enters, she holds the door open for two people who thank her as they enter. 

Tweek stares dumbly. They're like the opposite of him and Craig. Clean, put together, professional looking. Tweek and Craig are here in scruffy clothes looking like the teenage boys they are, and these people are out here looking like, well parents. They're exactly what Tweeks dream parents look like in his head. Not the meth heads, or even the well-meaning teenage messes they are. These people look like the parents Tweek has always wanted. 

"This is Graham and Kelly, Graham and Kelly, this is Tweek and Craig" their agent says with a smile. Tweek feels a little dumbstruck, luckily Graham dives in first and saves the moment. 

"Nice to meet you guys" he says, letting Tweeks weirdness slide. He holds out his hand, which Craig is quick to take and shake. 

"So great to meet you" Craig replies with a big smile.

Graham is smiling and it meets his eyes, there's little beginnings of crows feet and laughter lines on his face. Kindness just radiates from the pair of them. 

Tweek breaks into a smile and takes Graham's hand. His handshake is firm but not domineering. 

"Thank you for  _ -mmm-  _ meeting us," Tweek says in reply.

"Can I give you a hug sweetie?" Kelly asks. Tweek freezes a little, the only person he hugs is Craig. She seems so nice, he indulges her.

"Ok" he says. She wraps her arms around in a way his mother never did. He doesn't know her but it feels right. Tweek has never felt quite so whole.

"Is open adoption okay with you guys?" Craig asks "I read that it's better for the baby."

"We are open to what you guys want" Kelly says, "you're giving us the best gift, after all."

"We don't want like heaps of contact" Tweek says as he and Kelly part "probably the  _ -hnn-  _ minimum to be honest. We just want the kid to have access to us and to know we chose what we chose out of love" he explains "to do minimum damage, you know?"

"We can have legal go over all of that, but if you change your mind and want regular visits we are happy to accommodate that" Kelly suggests. 

"I think it might be too  _ -ah-  _ hard for us," Tweek says, not wanting to sound cold hearted.

"Yeah, I don't think I can handle seeing them heaps. Maybe once a year or something? A special occasion?" Craig adds. Tweek likes that idea much better than monthly visits. 

"Unless the kid is  _ -gah-  _ asking for us and you guys think it's in their best interests. Whatever distresses the  _ -hnn-  _ kid less" Tweek says. He doesn't think he could say no if the kid was asking to know him. He couldn't contribute to further screwing up the kid. 

"I agree, whatever is healthiest for the baby" Graham says with a smile. 

"So you don't have any kids?" Craig asks. 

"No, we have been struggling with infertility and IVF for ten years. It just got too heartbreaking and we decided to see if we could adopt" Grahan explains. Tweek feels so shitty knowing he and Craig accidentally made a kid when there's others who can't. The world is maddening sometimes. 

"We want to be parents so badly, the biology really doesn't matter in the end" Kelly adds on. Tweek definitely feels that sentiment, his family is basically Craig's family now.

"Well, all we want is to give them to someone who'll love them properly and give them things we can't," Craig tells them. 

"You'll look after them, won't you?" Tweek echoes, voice quiet and vulnerable. 

"If you choose us, we won't ever let you down" Graham says with a grin that is so fatherly Tweek doesn't understand how someone with no kids can have such dad energy. 

"And we will be forever grateful" Kelly says, smiling warmly. 

Tweek nods. He can feel it in his gut. These are the baby's parents. Not him and Craig, this kid was always meant to be with them 

"I wanna  _ -nghh-  _ choose you guys," he says, looking at Craig.

"Yeah, congratulations I guess. You're gonna be parents… as long as you're okay, Tweeks due in less than three months, I know that's not long…" Craig says. Tweek hadn't thought of that. They were dumb for leaving this so late.

"We've been ready for ten years" Kelly hums happily. 

"We'll actually never be able to repay you" Graham replies, emotion heavy on his voice. 

"I feel the same way about  _ -nnn- _ you guys" Tweek says "take good care of them and we're even."

"We will always look after them" Kelly says and ushers all of them in for a group hug. Craig seems a little uncomfortable but he bears it for the sake of the moment. Tweek would normally be uncomfortable, but he already trusts these guys. They were so meant to be this baby's parents.

Craig holds Tweek close the whole way home, stroking Tweeks belly affectionately.

"Do you feel better now?" He asks. 

"So much better," Tweek says happily. He's beyond relieved knowing that his baby has parents, and good ones too. 

"It's real now, we've only got a few months left with this little one" Craig says. Tweek feels a kick as Craig talks, it makes him smile even if their conversation is melancholy. 

"I've gotten weirdly used to  _ -hnn-  _ sharing my body. I'm gonna feel lonely" Tweek admits, patting his belly. 

"I'm gonna miss th-  _ oh"  _ Craig says, stopping in his tracks. Tweek nearly trips over at the sudden change of pace. 

"Oh?" Tweek asks, worried. 

"Sorry Tweek I just, I felt that one" Craig says, sounding awestruck. 

"You felt the kick?" Tweek feels excitement building in his chest. Craig has never been able to feel a kick before. They've both been waiting for this. 

"Yeah, I was almost worried I never would but wow, holy shit" Craig says breathlessly. 

"Yeah, they're really active. They  _ -ah- _ know who you are too. They kick when you talk" Tweek tells him. The baby absolutely knows both his and Craig's voices. He hopes they come to love their parents' voices too. 

"They do… I just… I can't believe they know I'm here" Craig replies, looking like he might cry. Tweek places his hand on top of Craig's resting on his belly. 

"They do, so make the most of every  _ -nnn-  _ moment" he tells Craig before giving him a kiss. 

—


	7. Not the Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek knows he's a boring boyfriend at the moment. He doesn't want to have sex and he doesn't want to go out. He just wants to rest, nap or eat. He wishes he could be more fun but it's just too difficult. His belly is huge, like bigger than Tweek ever anticipated. He looks like he swallowed a basketball, everything is swollen and the stretch marks are angrier than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweek deals with the shittier parts of being heavily pregnant.

Tweek and Craig spend their weekend chilling out. Craig is playing a video game lazing around on the floor while Tweek takes the bed. Tweek is laying on his side and taking up all the room. It's a tight squeeze to fit the both of them on the bed. They make it work but during the day Craig lets Tweek have the bed alone. Tweek is now in his eighth month and his life is an uncomfortable hell. Having the bed alone at least means he can put pillows under his belly and back and can try to relax as best he can. Tweek knows he's a boring boyfriend at the moment. He doesn't want to have sex and he doesn't want to go out. He just wants to rest, nap or eat. He wishes he could be more fun but it's just too difficult. His belly is huge, like bigger than Tweek ever anticipated. He looks like he swallowed a basketball, everything is swollen and the stretch marks are angrier than ever. 

Tweek is exhausted, maybe even more exhausted than he was at the beginning of his pregnancy. Almost every move the kid makes is unpleasant for Tweek, he wants them to move obviously but it's starting to get so uncomfortable it hurts. He hates that it feels so unpleasant as he wants to be enjoying these last few weeks with the baby before they give them up. He doesn't want to be wishing those away. 

Tweek has been napping on and off all afternoon. He hasn't been able to get much consecutive sleep just short, not very restful bursts. He's never felt so tired. Craig has been entertaining himself with a video game. Playing alone with the sound on mute while Tweek tries to rest. Tweek appreciates that Craig is letting him have the whole bed, the floor can't be too comfortable. 

"You wanna  _ -mmm-  _ come up here?" Tweek mumbles, still sleepy. 

"Not if you're still uncomfortable, get some rest babe" Craig says.

"I'm always uncomfortable, I could do with a  _ -nghh-  _ snuggle" Tweek hums. He might end up kicking Craig off again in ten minutes but sometimes he just needs to be held. 

"Ok, sure," Craig says, pausing his game and putting down the controller. He gets up and snuggles in down next to Tweek. 

"Any pains?" Craig asks. Tweek has been having weak contractions on and off. Laura thinks they're Braxton Hicks and Tweek isn't worried about them.

"Like, vague ones" he replies. 

"I hate seeing you in pain and uncomfortable" Craig says, he sounds so genuine and sad.

"I'm okay, it's not much longer now. I'm just  _ -hnn-  _ sorry that I'm not the person you fell in love anymore" Tweek says forlornly. 

"What on earth do you mean?" Craig replies, sounding extremely confused. 

"I'm no fun anymore. I just wanna  _ -ah- _ stay home all day, I never do things with you and I  _ -nnn-  _ look nothing like I used to" Tweek explains sadly. 

"Tweek, I don't mind. I have no idea what it's like having all that happen to my body… I just want you to feel okay" Craig tries to reassure him. 

"I don't. I hate the way I look naked" Tweek replies. He wishes he was more mature and didn't take the physical changes so hard. But he knows that this will affect him forever. He's definitely not going to look like he did before all this. 

"I can't make you change your mind but you know I am still as in love with you as the day I met you" Craig comforts. 

"It's just, I'm so huge. Not just my stomach but  _ -hnng-  _ everywhere. There's no way my old clothes would  _ -nnn- _ fit and it's not gonna just go away" Tweek worries. He's bigger everywhere and his legs, butt, sides and stomach are all covered in stretch marks. 

"Having a baby changes your body, and that's okay. You did an amazing thing" Craig tries to explain. 

"But we won't have a  _ -nghh-  _ baby. I'll just be fat and have stretch marks. You'll have to look at me like that every day and be reminded of what we don't have" Tweek admits. He's scared that all these scars of pregnancy will be a constant, negative reminder of what they've been through. Maybe Craig will grow to resent his body. 

"It's not gonna make me love you less Tweek. I love you, I can't imagine my world without you and your body isn't gonna drive me away. If you're unhappy I'll support you but know that I won't see those changes as negative" Craig encourages. Tweek appreciates his positivity but he still feels uneasy. 

"I love you so much, I just… I'm so scared I'll lose you. And I'll be alone, sad and fat. I'll miss the baby" Tweek says glumly. He sees no way he won't be devastated right after the birth. And to be alone on top of that, if things with Craig fell apart. Tweek doesn't think they will deep down, but he's anxious, hormonal and emotional. He's so terrified Craig will leave him. 

"We will need each other. I'm not leaving you, I want us to get through this together" Craig replies hugging Tweek closer. 

"Craig I'm so…" Tweek can't finish. Instead he bursts into tears, sobbing grossly and uncontrollably. Craig doesn't loosen his grip and holds him.

"Don't cry babe, I'll do everything I can to support you okay? If you need anything just lean on me" Craig comforts. Tweek bites his lip and tries to swallow his sobs. 

"You can  _ -nnn- _ lean on me too, if you want to," he manages to say through his tears. 

"I will if I need to," Craig promises and gives the back of Tweeks neck a kiss.

"I'm so scared for when I  _ -nggh- _ give birth" Tweek admits quietly. 

"I wish I could do that part for you" Craig says regretfully "But all I can promise is that I'll hold your hand and stay the whole time with you."

"I know I guess I'm scared of the  _ -gah-  _ pain" Tweek mumbles. It feels like he's admitting a weakness even though he knows most humans would naturally be scared.

"If you need pain relief, definitely take it" Craig tells him. Craig knows Tweek harbors guilt over this idea. 

"Do you think Kelly and Graham would  _ -hnn-  _ care?" Tweek asks quietly. 

"It's not their choice" Craig replies. 

"It's their baby and I heard pain meds can make the baby  _ -ah-  _ groggy and less reactive" Tweek says anxiously. 

"I don't think they'd mind. If you're less stressed when you're delivering that's probably better for the baby" Craig rationalizes. 

"I guess, I'll  _ -nghh-  _ see how I go. I'm also scared for when the baby is  _ -ah-  _ out and we have to hand them over. It's going to hurt so much and what if I panic and say I want to keep them?" That's Tweeks biggest worry. That in an emotional and possibly drug induced haze he will backflip. 

"I'll be here to try and keep us grounded, I can push my emotions down better than you can. We can cry our hearts out once the baby has gone to their home" Craig replies. Tweek supposes he can count on Craig for that, for putting logic before emotions. 

"I know, I'm just so  _ -nnn-  _ worried," Tweek says. He's so scared he will be selfish.

"We have to hold each other close through it," Craig says. It sounds like a promise and Tweek can only hope he keeps it.

—

Tweek tries his best to center himself and focus. It's hard through the pain but these were some techniques he'd been given at their last doctors appointment. Ideas to try and help him get through labor. He's not  _ in  _ labor now, but the Braxton Hicks he's currently experiencing are much more intense than normal. He closes his eyes and tries his best to breathe through the pain. 

They're trying to watch a movie together but Tweek is in pain and Craig is not very good at pretending he isn't worried. Tweek knows the more he shows his pain on his face, or in grunts or noises the more Craig will worry. He's trying his very best to just stay calm and breathe. 

"Are you sure you don't wanna eat something?" Craig asks, his fingers drawing circles at the small of Tweeks back. 

Tweek shakes his head, not trusting his voice just yet. Instead he slowly lets out the breath he was holding.

"Just cause… google says you probably should… it might help" Craig presses. Tweek can't imagine ingesting anything right now. His insides feel all tight and mixed up, he's positive anything he tries to eat is coming straight back up. 

"Just  _ -nghh- _ start the shower for me, if that's okay?" Tweek manages, taking another breath as the pain ebbs a little. He knows it'll probably be back soon but the hot water usually helps. He definitely wishes Craig could shower with him but the shower is tiny and Craig hasn't fit in with him for ages. 

"Can you stand up?" Craig asks worriedly. 

"I can," Tweek assures him. He thinks he can at least. 

"Okay" Craig says as he gets up to head to the bathroom. 

Tweek knows Craig is worried because if this is real labour the baby is early. While the pain is strong, Tweek is still pretty sure it's just Braxton Hicks. He supposes he wouldn't really know how to tell the difference, but he chooses to believe it's only false labour. Tweek isn't ready to give up his baby earlier than planned. He also can't stand the idea of the baby potentially being in the hospital and he and Craig not knowing if they're okay. He thinks Kelly and Graham would tell them, but he hates the uncertainty. 

"Showers ready," Craig says, reappearing in the living room. "I'll help you up babe" Craig says nicely, offering Tweek his hand. 

Tweek, at eight months pregnant, really doesn't have another choice but to take it. He lets out a small involuntary groan as Craig helps him heave himself upwards. He wraps one hand around his stomach protectively. 

"You okay?" Craig asks.

Tweek nods, Craig keeps a guiding hand around Tweeks waist as they shuffle to the bathroom together. 

"I'm basically gonna need you to  _ ah _ … to do everything" Tweek says sheepishly. He knows that there's no way he can get himself dressed again. Craig's been helping him do all sorts of TMI stuff that most teenage couples would probably balk at. He's super lucky, he can't imagine what he'd do without such a supportive partner. 

"All good" Craig says "seeing you naked is just a bonus."

"Shut up" Tweek says, it's meant to be playful but it comes out more strained. He grips at Craig's shoulders for extra support. 

"I'll get your pants, no funny business" Craig replies, beginning his task of helping Tweek undress. Craig's attempt at banter just comes out worried. Tweek wishes he could say something to put Craig at ease but he can't do much besides breathing through the pain. 

Tweek pulls off his shirt, because he can do that at least, then steps out of his pants and underwear. 

"Just  _ -nnn-  _ stay outside" Tweek breathes "I might need you."

"I'll be right here" Craig promises. 

Tweek keeps his balance by leaning against the shower wall. His hips and lower back hurt a ton but it's the best way he can stabilise himself through his pain. The hot water hits his back and he shudders. It's hotter than he'd normally have it but for maximum pain relief he asks for the temperature up. When the pain subsides he takes his arms off the wall and backs up a little so that now the water is streaming onto his belly. He takes deep breaths to help prepare himself from the next round. 

He tries to splash even more water on his stomach, he expects the pain to slowly begin to ease but it doesn't. He ends up in a squat, wondering if he is about to actually have a baby in this shower right now.

"Babe" Craig says, waiting gingerly at the shower door, "I think you're in labor."

"It's too early" Tweek grits out.

"I know that but sometimes babies just don't pay attention to when they're due" Craig says "I'm gonna turn off the water and help you out, okay? We're gonna go to the hospital."

"Okay" Tweek replies weakly. He doesn't really know what else to do at this point. He definitely doesn't want to be giving birth to an early baby in the shower. He barely notices the water being turned off, the only thing he can feel is the tightening in his belly. He resists Craig a little as Craig tries to help him up. He doesn't mean to, the pain is just so intense he wants to remain curled up. 

"Sit on the toilet babe" Craig says softly, "I'm gonna dry you and dress you. Then I'll call an uber. You don't need to do anything except try and breathe through it, okay?"

Tweek nods. Craig takes so much care throughout the whole process. Putting the towel over him softly, slowly putting his clothes on with plenty of breaks when the pain gets too intense. If Tweek had more wherewithal he'd thank Craig for being so sweet. 

Craig helps him back to the couch and gives him a gentle kiss. 

"I'm getting the baby bag now" he tells Tweek "and I've called an uber, just hang in there babe."

Tweek can only wait. 

Craig helps him into the uber and Tweek focuses on not making any noise. He really doesn't want the uber driver thinking he's crowning in the backseat or something. Craig tells the uber driver thanks about five hundred times. 

A staff member is there waiting to meet them, Tweek figures Craig must have rung the hospital too. He's proud of his boyfriend for being so together and organised because there's no way he can manage it. He's wheeled down to maternity and Tweek is just thankful he doesn't have to walk. 

It's kind of dramatic really, he comes in in a wheelchair. Genuinely feeling bowled over by intense contractions, sure he's having his baby early only to be told after an uncomfortable examination that he's actually not in labor at all.

Just really strong Braxton Hicks. 

"It's still better to be safe than sorry" the nurse tells them kindly.

Tweek still feels super embarrassed, and like a big baby. How can he handle the real thing if this was so intense? 

—


	8. Their Special Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Tweek expected to be in the hospital very soon he hadn't expected it in these circumstances. He's bored, yet still stressed with a pitocin drip in his arm. This is nothing like the bout of Braxton Hicks he'd had where he'd been so sure he was giving birth that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig share a special moment together before Tweek goes into labour.

Tweek savors the feeling of Craig's hand in his. Even though the baby is due in less than a week. (Tweek is so glad they've held out after that awful bout of Braxton Hicks.) Even though the baby is coming very soon and Tweek normally doesn't want to go out he's relented today. Craig wanted to just go for a walk together and get out of the apartment. Tweek is actually having a pretty good day so he takes advantage of it. 

Tweek knows they're going to the park. He knows his area well enough to know all these routes by heart. Craig can't really surprise him here. 

"Can we  _ -nnn-  _ go out to eat after?" Tweek asks hopefully, wanting to take advantage of the little energy he has.

"Sure," Craig says happily, squeezing Tweeks hand. 

It's been a while since they've been to the park together. They definitely haven't been since Tweeks second trimester. They used to come here for dates sometimes, early on in their relationship. It was a great way to get some space and some privacy while all the other kids went and hung out at the mall. It was also a place Tweeks parents will never be. After Tweek essentially moved in at Craig's place they abandoned their quiet place for a little bit. Opting to stay home and play video games, eat in and screw. Which was especially easy to do as Craig has been a latchkey kid since forever. Tweek kinda misses the innocence of the place though. Fresh air and new beginnings. 

"I wanted to come here before the baby is born" Craig explains "I want to show them our place." 

"That's a great idea Craig" Tweek agrees "I'm mad at myself for not  _ -nghh-  _ thinking of it myself." 

"I really want to have this experience together" Craig continues "the place is special for us so like, I want to share it with the kid as best as we can."

"Yeah, this is the  _ -ah- _ best we can share a piece of ourselves" Tweek replies, rubbing his free hand over his stomach. 

Tweek is feeling like it's gonna be any day now. The baby has dropped and he's never felt so much pressure in his pelvis in his life. It's weird. But there's been no contractions, so they're just waiting. 

They keep walking along the path, amongst the trees and greenery. The only greenery in the middle of their concrete jungle. They've never known backyards or green lawns. Only this park. And Stark's pond. 

Starks has always been a good spot for lovers. 

You can sit on a bench by the water and gaze lovingly into each other's eyes. Tweek and Craig know of couples who have proposed here. It's a place of love for them too, but for a different milestone. 

Here they had their first kiss. 

The very bench they kissed on is free and Craig wastes no time grabbing it for them.

"When I propose I'll do it here" Craig hums happily as they watch the ducks paddling through the murky water. 

"What if we're out of here, somewhere  _ -hnng- _ better?" Tweek says, daring to imagine. 

"I'll bring us back, just for the romance of it" Craig says with a smile. 

"What if I proposed first?" Tweek challenges, nudging Craig playfully. 

"If you did it'd be like, blurted out and in the middle of a movie or something. I'd say yes and then plan this big thing to propose back" Craig replies. Tweek hates when he's right.

"You're sweet… and you know me too  _ -gah-  _ well" he concedes. 

"That's what happens when you've been in a relationship for a while, dingus" Craig teases.

"I love you,  _ dingus,"  _ Tweek says back. 

"So, if it's okay I'm gonna talk to the baby now" Craig asks, the atmosphere shifting to a more serious tone.

"Of course" Tweek replies, he's never gonna tell Craig he can't talk to the baby. 

"So, uh, hi baby. It's me, your not-dad and this is Starks pond. I wanted to tell you about this place before you go to live with your parents because for us it's a special place" Craig says, he sounds nervous. He doesn't need to be, the baby kicks when he hears his voice. Tweek pulls Craig's hand to his stomach so he can feel "oh, hello" Craig says, softening. He continues "This is where me and Tweek, your other non-dad, I guess…"

"Yeah what  _ -nghh-  _ even are we to you?" Tweek muses to his belly. 

"We'll have to work that out as we go" Craig says, then continues with his speech "But this place is where we kissed for the first time. It's where we fell in love and that's how you came to be. You were made in love, even if we weren't quite prepared yet. We love you too, and it's  _ because  _ we love you that we found the best home for you. It's gonna hurt us to give you up and be apart but we know you're going to have the best life with your parents and that matters the most to us. So just know, you came from love, you were grown with love and you're being given up with love. When we're all older I'll bring you here, when we have a visit and I'll tell you all this again and I just hope you'll understand and you'll love us too. When we're older..." Craig finishes, the emotion clear and out in the open. Tweek is in awe at just how deep they can love each other. 

"Fuck Craig, I'm crying" Tweek says, touched by Craig's words. He's not bawling or anything but his eyes are watering with the intense emotion. 

"Sorry I just, I had to say that. I needed that moment" Craig replies, leaning closer into Tweek and rubbing Tweeks stomach. 

"No it was… it was  _ -hnn- _ beautiful. I'll never forget any of that, ever" Tweek tells him. 

"I just wanted us to feel like a family, for a second" Craig says. 

—

While Tweek expected to be in the hospital very soon he hadn't expected it in these circumstances. He's bored, yet still stressed with a pitocin drip in his arm. This is nothing like the bout of Braxton Hicks he'd had where he'd been so sure he was giving birth that night. 

He's stressed because he has preeclampsia but he's bored because the induction is taking forever. 

He had no idea he even had preeclampsia until this morning. He's been swollen since forever so he didn't notice any changes there. They went to the doctor's for the final check up, she took his blood pressure and it was too high. Then she took a urine sample and said there was too much protein. She sent Tweek to the hospital straight away to be induced. He's already super close to his due date so there's no point in waiting. It's safer for both himself, and the baby to be induced and delivered today. 

Craig let the adoption agency know and Kelly and Graham. Tweek knows they won't get cold feet but he's definitely scared for the pain the separation will cause. Not to mention the physical pain of the contractions to come.

But now he's bored. Craig is playing some game on his phone, before they'd been taking turns playing hangman. 

"Does it hurt at all?" Craig asks.

"Barely, it's like  _ -nghh-  _ cramps" Tweek replies. 

"It's weird that these are the last hours we'll get with the baby" Craig muses. Tweek doesn't really want to think of it. 

"I don't feel  _ -ah-  _ prepared at all. The pain that I had before, when it was really bad? That totally took me out of my body and I couldn't be  _ -nnn-  _ present" Tweek explains. He doesn't want to be spending the potential last moments he has with the baby, at least for a while anyway, in too much pain to appreciate it.

"If you want to we can hold them afterwards. The agency says we can decide how much time we want to spend with them before handover" Craig suggests. Tweek is thankful for Craig's planning and problem solving abilities because he really doesn't have any at present. 

"I might  _ -ah-  _ need that, I'll be honest. I don't want to just be thinking about the  _ -hnng-  _ pain, I want to be in the moment" Tweek admits.

"That's okay babe, I'll definitely go talk to Kelly and Graham later and let them know our plan" Craig assures him. Tweek smiles.

"Is your  _ -gah- _ mom coming?" Tweek asks. He wants her there but he knows she'll probably have to miss work. Tweek doesn't feel like he can ask that of her. 

"She is yeah, she said to call when things pick up or if you really feel you need her" Craig replies. Tweek is secretly relieved he doesn't have to ask. 

"Tell her to try and get some  _ -nghh-  _ sleep and you can call her later," Tweek says, feeling grateful. She did a night shift last night and definitely needs some rest before coming in and sitting with them for hours. 

"Yeah she definitely needs some sleep. She said she would take off work tomorrow because even though we won't have a baby she says you'll still need help" Craig tells him. Her taking off work is kind of a big deal. Tweek is surprised, but very thankful. 

"I guess I'll be sore" he says "I'll have to  _ -ah-  _ thank her when she gets here."

"You'll probably be heaps sore but I'll help you too" Craig replies. 

"Do you think the baby is a  _ -nnn-  _ boy or a girl?" Tweek asks. They've avoided this point of conversation for the entirety of Tweeks pregnancy purely because it felt too much like getting attached. But now that they've come so far that it doesn't matter anymore. 

"I don't know I've been trying so hard to just think of them of this genderless entity but, I think maybe a girl?" Craig guesses. Tweek thinks that Craig absolutely wants them to have a daughter in the future. He wants a daddy's girl. Tweek thinks he'd like a son too, but he knows he will love his children either way.

"I think it's a  _ -gah- _ boy, I don't know why I just have a feeling" Tweek replies, rubbing his belly. 

"I hope when we have our own kids we get one of each" Craig says, smiling at the thought. Tweek likes to imagine it too, happy babies with Craig's eyes running around and playing. That's all Tweek wants for when they're older. 

"Yeah, I mean I wouldn't  _ -hnn- _ care either way but a son and a daughter would be super cute" Tweek agrees. He doesn't think they'll ever be able to forget this little one either. Even if they aren't their parents. 

"So you want two kids? In the future?" Craig asks. 

"Two or three, depending how  _ -nghh-  _ birthing this baby goes. If it's too awful maybe I'll backtrack" Tweek says, he still doesn't quite know what he's in for yet. 

"Two or three sounds nice, but if you don't want to put your body through it all again I'd understand" Craig adds. Tweek hopes he copes well, but the growing pressure in his lower belly is beginning to make him anxious. 

"Hmmm" Tweek says, shifting uncomfortably "I think the medicine is beginning to  _ -nnn-  _ work."

"Does it hurt a lot?" Craig asks with concern.

"Starting to, yeah. Down in my  _ -hnn-  _ pelvis and my lower back" Tweek winces and rubs his lower stomach. 

"Maybe that means the baby will be here soon?" Craig suggests. 

"Unlikely" Tweek replies, cutting himself off with a moan. 

—


	9. I Need an Adult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Craig, I'm in pain!" Tweek moans from the bed. The contractions have picked up a ton since the pitocin drip began. Tweek is a little surprised how quickly they went from little cramps to overwhelming pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig's baby is born, they now have to follow through with their hard choice.

"Craig, I'm in pain!" Tweek moans from the bed. The contractions have picked up a ton since the pitocin drip began. Tweek is a little surprised how quickly they went from little cramps to overwhelming pain.

"I know, I'm sorry, I wish I could help you" Craig says quietly, he rubs Tweeks back and Tweek rocks back and forth.

"When can I  _ -gah-  _ have the damn shot?" Tweek grits out. He's wanted the epidural since the pain really began to pick up but it's too early in his labor. 

"You know you aren't dilated enough yet. If you have it now it'll wear off before the hardest part" Craig tries to comfort him. His words are hard to hear through piercing pain. 

"I just want an  _ -nghh-  _ epidural. I just want them out…  _ ahhh _ I'm never, ever having sex again" Tweek cries out, digging his nails into the sheets of the bed. 

"We'll be extra careful from now on, you're doing so good" Craig hums and keeps rubbing Tweeks back. 

"Make it stop" Tweek whines unhappily. 

"Take a breath babe, breathe through it" Craig encourages. It's unhelpful but Tweek decides to concentrate on the sound of his voice and not his actual words. He centres on that and breathes through as best he can.

"It's done, I think, for now" he says, still taking deep breaths.

"You did so well, holy shit" Craig says proudly, he leans over to give Tweek a quick peck. 

"It hurts  _ so  _ much, what the fuck? It's only  _ -hnng- _ been like an hour" Tweek complains, in awe of how quickly things picked up. 

"It's probably the pitocin" Craig replies.

"I can't keep  _ -ah- _ doing this for another however many hours" Tweek moans. He can't, it's already unbearable now, he can't keep doing this over and over again, he won't cope. 

"You gotta babe, I know you can. In a few hours you can probably have your epidural and you'll feel so much better" Craig tries to encourage him. 

"Can you  _ -nghh-  _ call your mom? I think I just need an adult" Tweek admits sheepishly. Craig is an amazing support but Craig is just as out of his depth as Tweek is. As grown as Tweek likes to pretend he is, sometimes you just need a grown up. Sometimes you just need your mom, and Laura is the best Tweek is gonna get.

"Of course babe" Craig says, "if you have another contraction just breathe and I'll be right back okay?"

Tweek nods. Maybe it's selfish to call for Laura so early on in labor but Tweek feels like now is his time. He's been unselfish this entire pregnancy, he's going to give the kid up for adoption. Sue him for wanting a mother figure right now. 

Craig is back in the room a few minutes later just as Tweeks next contraction is beginning to take hold. Craig must've spent the bare minimum on the phone, wanting to be straight back with Tweek. 

"Another one's  _ -gah-  _ coming!" Tweek says, reaching out for Craig's hand. Craig rushes over and takes it straight away. 

"Just keep breathing Tweek" Craig says, ever steady, reliable, supportive Craig. Tweek leans into him and tries to soldier through the pain.

"You're so amazing babe" Craig keeps encouraging "so strong."

"Arghhh!" Is all tweek can get out at the peak of the contraction, his brain no longer able to form words.

Between then and the time Laura arrives is just an odyssey of pain for Tweek. He can't speak while the contractions are going, he's just locked in his little pain world. All he has is Craig's voice and touch to ground him.

Laura does arrive though and she's quick to take her place at Tweeks other side. She grabs his other hand and squeezes. 

"You're gonna be okay, sweetie" she tells him "you're a superhero."

"Even if I have an  _ -hnn-  _ epidural?" Tweek mutters.

"Absolutely, you deserve it" she tells him. And from her, he believes it.

"You're so tough babe" Craig says "you deserve all the relief you can get."

"I'm so tired" Tweek moans, his contraction beginning to subside.

"Pitocin is a bitch" Laura says sympathetically "I was induced when I had Craig too."

"Why is it bad?" Craig asks, concerned. 

"It's not bad" Laura replies "it can just cause more painful contractions than natural labor."

"It  _ -ah-  _ hurts so much" Tweek whines, falling into Craig's side. Craig wraps his arms around him and hugs tight.

"Do you think maybe you could try to sleep?" Laura asks "I know it won't be easy for you but it might help you to try?"

"I'll try" Tweek says "but I  _ -nghh-  _ don't think I'll be able to until I get the epidural."

"Just try love" she encourages. Craig nods in agreement before leaning in to give Tweek a kiss. 

—

All Tweek is is tired. The pitocin seems to have just triggered contractions that rip right through him and after many checks, exhaustion and a lot of screaming from Tweek, his doctor suggests it might be time to consider a c-section.

"Did I  _ -hnn-  _ do something wrong?" Tweek asks, panicking.

"No, not at all" his doctor replies, trying to sound reassuring "sometimes it's just safer to do it this way. You've done a wonderful job but I think you're just going to exhaust yourself if we keep going. It will be safer and less stressful to go the c-section route."

"I think you should Tweek" Laura suggests "you're in tons of pain but not dilating. The baby could get stressed if you keep pushing yourself."

Tweek looks at Craig, who is looking terrified and about as confused as Tweek is.

"Craig?" He mewls out pathetically. 

"I think you should babe" Craig says "I'm so worried about you."

"Okay" Tweek agrees. "Okay I'll do it, but I still need to hold them after."

"You can have as much time as you need" Laura assures him.

Tweek gets his epidural, he's not sure if he's relieved or terrified by having to have surgery. He just hopes he won't be so doped up he won't remember anything. 

Craig gets to be in the room with him but Laura has to wait. Laura decides to use the time to inform Kelly and Graham of the state of affairs. Tweek is glad she is here to do that as he doesn't want Craig leaving his side. 

"We're about to meet the little one" Craig says as they wait for the surgery to begin. All prepped and nervous. 

"The epidural works so good" Tweek hums "I  _ -nnn-  _ feel so much better."

"I'm glad babe" Craig says with a laugh "you ready to meet the baby?"

"No" Tweek says "I want them to  _ -hnn- _ stay in forever."

"No you don't" Craig replies.

"You're right, I just… I'm gonna miss sharing everything with them" Tweek mumbles sadly.

"I'm gonna miss them so much too. Like when I'd poke your belly and they'd kick back, that was so cute" Craig smiles at the memory. 

"Yeah, or when they'd kick when they  _ -nghh- _ heard our voices? I don't want my belly to be empty" Tweek says, suddenly sad as he realises what's about to happen. 

"I know" Craig replies "I don't know how to make it better but just know I'm here, always" Craig tells him sincerely. 

"I love you" Tweek replies, tears at the corner of his eyes.

"I love you too" Craig says, leaning down to kiss Tweeks forehead. 

"Sorry to interrupt" a doctor says from behind the screen "but this baby is about to be born, do we want to hold them?"

"Yes" Tweek replies "we want to spend some  _ -ah-  _ time before the handover."

"Okay, no problem" the doctor replies, Tweek focuses on the weird pulling sensation. 

Before their presence can be announced by a doctor Tweek feels the weight being lifted from his belly and a sharp cry pierces the room. 

"He's got great lungs" the doctor comments with a laugh. 

"He?" Both Tweek and Craig ask in unison. 

"Yeah, he's definitely a boy" the doctor says, lifting up the red, screaming little baby so that Tweek can see.

"I  _ -nnn-  _ knew he was a boy" Tweek says, trying to blink back the tears blurring his vision. 

"Do you want to cut the cord?" The doctor asks Craig. Tweek can only assume Craig has said yes through a nod because he feels Craig's hand unhooking from his own and he moves away. Tweeks vision is still too blurry to see. 

"Do you want a quick hold Tweek?" The doctor asks, "you can hold him after you're stitched up if you prefer?"

"Now, please" Tweek chokes out, wiping his eyes so that he can actually see his baby. 

He stops crying almost as soon as he is placed on Tweeks chest, which causes Tweek to bawl. He knows who Tweek is, he remembers all those times they talked to him. 

"Sorry hun" a nurse says as she lifts him off of Tweeks chest "we've got to weigh him and clean him up but you can have him back very soon."

Tweek grabs Craig's arms as he sobs hysterically. 

"We can do it" he chokes out "I want him."

"I know baby" Craig says, placing his face right above Tweeks and kissing him. "I know baby but he's gonna be so happy with his parents."

"We're his parents" Tweek cries but Craig holds his ground. 

"We aren't Tweek, we can't give him what he needs" Craig says, his words sound sure but his tone is wavering, he's crying too. "He's going to have the childhood we didn't."

"I know" Tweek agrees, still crying "but I love him. I want him to be  _ -nghh-  _ mine."

"I know, but he can't be" Craig says "we will have our own baby, and give them everything, when we're older."

Tweek knows he is right, he clutches onto his boyfriend as he sobs. Knowing he can't be clutching on to his son. 

—


	10. When They're Older

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelly and Graham adore their son, they name him Ryan, which is a name Tweek and Craig probably never would've picked. But that's fine, he is theirs. Tweek knew he made the right decision once he calmed down and saw Kelly and Graham interacting with their son. Tweek knew he couldn't be selfish and keep him, no matter how badly he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig try to deal with the aftermath of their choice and begin their lives again.

Kelly and Graham adore their son, they name him Ryan, which is a name Tweek and Craig probably never would've picked. But that's fine, he is theirs. Tweek knew he made the right decision once he calmed down and saw Kelly and Graham interacting with their son. Tweek knew he couldn't be selfish and keep him, no matter how badly he wanted to.

After the handover takes place Tweek and Craig ask Kelly and Graham if they could not send through updates straight away. They needed some time to get used to their new lives and to let Ryan go. Tweek knows they will see Ryan eventually and Tweek plans to send him things and buy him a birthday gift every year but for now the distance is essential. 

Tweek would be lying if he said he was coping well. He's really, really sore. C-section recovery is pretty miserable and he's still relying on Craig for just about everything. He wanted to be back at school by now but he's not physically able. He's not really emotionally able either if he admits it. 

He wakes up in the middle of the night, in pain and needing to take his next dose of painkillers forgetting he's had him. Sometimes he reaches down to his stomach only to remember it's empty. Sore, scarred and empty. He very much still has a baby belly too, it's still round, just more saggy and squishy. He looks about seven months pregnant without the added weight of a baby. He's tired, emotional and just feels like every inch of his body reminds him what he's lost. 

"I want him  _ -nnn-  _ back" he whispers to Craig in the night, voice wobbly and tears streaming. He hates that it hurts to cry, the incision site at his belly pulls at every sob.

Craig moves in closer and hugs him from behind. Tweek has gotten used to being the little spoon at this point.

"I know" Craig says quietly "but remember how happy he seemed with Kelly and Graham. They're looking after him so good I know."

"During the day when I can think more rationally I know he's  _ -ah-  _ where he belongs" Tweek says "I just find it so much harder to stop my feelings at  _ -mmm-  _ night."

"You're still super hormonal too, I absolutely don't blame you if you're not feeling 100% rational" Craig says comfortingly. 

"I still look  _ -gah-  _ pregnant and it just reminds me that he's not here. I miss everything, even when he'd  _ -hnng-  _ keep me up all night or kick my ribs hard" Tweek despairs. He's never hated his body so much, even when he was eight months pregnant and miserable. 

"Oh babe, I miss little things like that too. He's a strong kicker" Craig agrees, pulling Tweek closer.

"I thought I could just go  _ -nnn-  _ back to normal but I can't," Tweek says, breaking into more sobs.

"It's definitely gonna take some time, but we will get there" Craig promises him. Tweek does believe him, it all just seems so far away now.

"I just hope he has a nice life," Tweek says sadly.

"I am sure that he will, and we will get to be in it. We just need a bit of time to heal," Craig reminds him. That's true. Tweek will get the opportunity to see Ryan again but the ball is in his and Craig's court. Kelly and Graham are willing to wait until they are ready. 

"I just wish my  _ -nghh- _ stomach would go away" Tweek complains, glaring down at it.

"It will go down babe" Craig replies, kissing Tweeks shoulder.

"It will go down some but it'll still be  _ -ah-  _ squishy and covered in stretch marks. Plus the scar, I'll have that  _ -nnn-  _ scar forever" Tweek says. The permanence of it is what upsets him, will he just be miserable in his own skin forever? He never thought about this part in too much detail.

Craig takes a deep breath, like he's thinking carefully about his reply. 

"It's your reminder of him. You earned it bringing him into the world. It's the part of him you can carry proudly, knowing you did right by him" the care of Craig's words really reminds Tweek why he loves him. Craig values him like nobody else does, Tweek feels equally for Craig. 

"How are you so strong?" Tweek asks. He doesn't know how Craig can lean on logic at a time like this but he'll take it. 

"I'm not, I just know you need me more now than ever" Craig says.

"I'm so scared this will  _ -hnn-  _ tear us apart but you're really showing me that it won't" Tweek tells him. He's never had more faith in Craig than he has right now. 

"Exactly, we're in this together and we're gonna get through it together" Craig promises, Tweek absolutely believes him.

"We're gonna grow up to be the people that Ryan would  _ -gah-  _ want us to be," Tweek says assuredly. 

"Absolutely, babe, I love you forever" Craig replies, kissing the back of Tweeks neck. 

"I love you too, thanks for listening," Tweek replies, snuggling more into Craig's touch and letting himself get comfortable. 

"It's okay, anytime. I can do the heavy lifting for us for a while" Craig promises him. 

Tweek sleeps better than he has in months that night. At least knowing Craig will always have his back. 

—

Tweek is trying his hardest to kind of get back to normal. His belly has gone down in the weeks since giving birth, he's just left with a jelly belly with stretch marks. His scar is a lot less visible than he thought, it's fading pretty nicely. He's always going to have it but it's not the red angry blemish he imagined. It's more of a subtle line, a small reminder of Ryan that only people who know him know is there. It's by no means perfect but he's coming to accept that it's his body and he should be proud of everything it's done. 

He doesn't really know if it's all in his head or not but he feels more emotionally settled. He misses feeling Ryan moving around in his belly but he's been sent some pictures by Kelly and he feels certain in their decision. Ryan is going to have such a happy life filled with stability and love. Tweek can't wait to see who he becomes with all the right supports in place. Ryan is starting to feel less like theirs, and Tweek is okay with that. It feels right, even though Tweek carried Ryan for nine months he feels more like a surrogate, and it makes him happy to know that he made Graham and Kelly's dream of a family come true.

Tweek still has his moments, grief can sometimes sneak up on you but he is feeling much stronger. Ready to take on the next chapter of his life which is returning to school, finishing and hopefully getting into college. He hopes to make Ryan proud when he's older. 

Tweek doesn't think Craig has had this emotional breakthrough yet. Craig has been putting on such a brave face this whole time Tweek was breaking down. He's been pushing down his emotions and repeating a mantra of logic. Tweek knows it's only so long until he breaks, but Tweek knows he will be there to support him. Sometimes pillars of support need someone to lean on too. Craig's been looking after him for so long, it's now Tweeks turn to return the favor. 

The moment comes in the middle of the night, like most breakdowns do. Tweek wakes from a hazy sleep to his partner quietly sobbing on the other side of the bed. He's turned away from Tweek, hunched over and clearly trying to keep his crying quiet as not to wake Tweek. Tweek waits for a minute and allows Craig the space, because getting it out is important but after a while he rolls over and wraps his arms around Craig. Craig always preferred to be the little spoon but he's been playing big spoon for a while now. Tweek lets him have his haven back, wraps his arms around him, snuggles in and protects. 

"I  _ -nghh-  _ love you so much" he says to Craig "if you don't wanna talk about it that's cool but I'm  _ -ah-  _ here for you."

"I thought I was okay but I'm not" Craig sobs.

"I know my love" Tweek comforts "just let it all out. You don't need to  _ -hnn-  _ bottle anything up anymore."

"I wanted to be strong for you" Craig says forlornly. 

"You have been, but you don't have to be  _ -nnn-  _ all the time. You're allowed to be sad and let your feelings out, we look after one another" Tweek promises him. 

"I'm just… I don't understand it. I know that I did the right thing and I know he's gonna be so much happier but why am I so miserable?" Craig tries to explain. Tweek totally gets it, but he sees it in another way through Craig's eyes. Craig is expecting his emotional response to respond to logic, it never will. 

"Emotions don't follow logic babe, grief doesn't have a time or  _ -nghh- _ schedule. You just need to live your life the best you can and eventually the  _ -ah-  _ pain will lessen and you'll be able to live with it" Tweek tells him. 

"Do you think so?" Craig asks, voice sounding weak and vulnerable. 

"I know so. I'm  _ -nnn-  _ living it, and you know how I got here? Through your  _ -hnng-  _ love and support. You helped me through my worst" Tweek says, he gives the back of Craig's neck a loving kiss. 

"I tried, that's all I wanted" Craig sighs.

"Just because he didn't grow in your  _ -ah-  _ belly doesn't mean he wasn't a part of you. I know you love him and your  _ -hnn-  _ feelings of grief are so valid" Tweek replies, he wants Craig to know his feelings are important too. 

"I feel so guilty, I just wish we were older and could have just given him everything in the first place" Craig says sadly. Tweek knows exactly how he feels, he often thinks about what-ifs in his worst moments too.

"I like to think that time and space aligned for things to happen this way. Because we weren't  _ -nnn-  _ able to be his parents we connected him with the best parents ever. We made Graham and Kelly so happy" Tweek tells him, he hopes this reminds Craig of the positives their decision has. He doesn't really know how to make Craig feel better but he has to try. 

"We did, I know he's going to be happy I guess I'm just feeling sad and selfish" Craig nods. 

"It's okay to miss him. It doesn't have to be about logic tonight. Tonight it's all about your feelings" Tweek replies, snuggling in closer to Craig. 

"I feel like I still should be looking after you, you had major surgery after all" Craig says. To Tweek looking after one another means so much more than physical. 

"I'm nearly healed, it's okay for you to  _ -nnn- _ need me this time" Tweek assures him. 

"Thanks I just… I'm struggling but talking about it tonight with you has helped me feel a bit better" Craig admits. Tweek is glad, he finds talking with Craig about his own issues feels better. Tweek is always willing to listen to the one he loves, always willing to be his big spoon. 

"That's more than okay Craig, I love you and you can always, always lean on me when  _ -gah-  _ things get hard okay?" Tweek promises him.

"Okay" Craig mumbles in reply. Tweek needs to be sure he's taking it to heart.

"I mean it Craig, don't  _ -ah-  _ hide your feelings under the guise of being strong. Especially don't push them down because you  _ -nnn-  _ feel you should be caring for me. We do this together" he says, putting it all out on the table for him.

"Okay, together is good" Craig agrees, he finds one of Tweeks hands and locks their fingers together, pulling his arm tighter around him. 

"You and me are a team" Tweek says with a smile, even though he knows Craig can't see it in the dark. 

"Always, I love you so much babe" Craig hums in reply, beginning to sound more calm and sleepy. 

"I love you too my love. We're gonna live such a  _ -hnn-  _ good life together" Tweek promises.

"The best life" Craig murmurs "night babe."

"Goodnight my love" Tweek hums happily. 

—

Tweek takes a deep breath as he enters the threshold. Craig's fingers are laced with Tweeks and Tweek knows he's just as nervous. They're back at school today ready to begin their new lives as teenagers. 

It's weird, it's like they were adults there for nine months or so and going back to having teen priorities seems a little frivolous. Instead of sleepless nights and changing diapers they're diving straight back into homework and petty drama. Tweek can't say he's looking forward to it but he is looking forward to proving himself right. 

He has a renewed sense of motivation to do well. To catch up and exceed his peers, to get into an amazing college and build himself from the ground up. To get out of here and carve out his place in the world. 

If he succeeds everything he's sacrificed has been worth it. He and Craig can be people that Ryan can be proud to know. They hope when he's older he'll get it. He'll realize just how much they loved him even if the idea of being given away is so painful for all. 

Tweek doesn't always appreciate the way elements combine and come together. The way the universe aligns, when biology does what it's supposed to and a sperm meets an egg. He knows their lives are forever changed but the chemicals swirling around in his body always lead him to Craig, strong as ever. He knows they'll make it together and they'll get their family. 

They'll be the parents they've always wanted for themselves, when they're older. 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


End file.
